Point of View Lapses: Mistakes Writers Make when it Comes to Head-Hopping

Steve Thompson
Have you ever read a book written in the first person, then come across a scene where the author reveals the thoughts of another character? Point of view lapses are common mistakes and can even be found in published books. When the author suddenly changes the point of view in which the story is written, readers are likely to do a double-take.

Point of view lapses occur when a writer jumps from the perspective of one character to the perspective of another, a practice often called head-hopping. This mistake isn't limited only to first-person tales, and is a big writing no-no even when writing in the third person.

Establish Point of View Regardless of the Type of Story

What many novice writers don't understand is that, regardless of the type of story, point of view is always important. When you are writing in the first person, the point of view is obvious; the main character is the narrator. However, when writing in the third person, point of view isn't always as obvious. That is why it is up to the author to make point of view clear to the reader at all times.

Change Points of View by Changing Scenes

The best way to establish point of view is to separate your novel into scenes. Two different characters might take center stage during the same chapter, but one scene should only occupy one character's head.

For example, if two of your characters are investigating strange noises in an abandoned warehouse, you should reveal the thoughts of only one of those characters. However, when those same two characters are informing the police of their discoveries, you can switch perspectives and allow the reader entry into the second character's thoughts.

Show Scene Breaks to Avoid Point of View Lapses

To avoid point of view lapses, make sure that you put space between scenes in which the point of view changes. For example, when the two characters above leave the warehouse to go to the police station, you would put two or three lines of white space in between the switch.

Identify the Character to Show Point of View

To avoid confusing your readers, show point of view changes immediately by identifying the character. For example, if your two characters are leaving the warehouse and heading to the police station, use the second character's name in the first sentence of the scene change to show that he or she is telling the story now.

Indicate Other Characters' Thoughts By Other Means

You can avoid point of view lapses by indicating another character's thoughts by other means. You don't have to say what Sally thought when you're in Alex's point of view, but you can give Alex's observations of Sally. For example, if Sally taps her foot on the ground, Alex could observe that she is impatient. You don't have to come right out and say that she is.

You can also indicate a character's point of view through dialogue, which is actually far more effective than thoughts.

Point of view lapses are common even in experienced authors, so read over your work carefully before considering it a finished draft. If you find yourself slipping repeatedly into another character's thoughts, it might be time to rethink the scene and to tell it from his or her point of view.

Published by Steve Thompson

Steve is a full-time freelance writer. In addition to the more than 3,000 articles he's written for AC, he has also written articles and other materials for more than 100 happy clients. He enjoys writing abo...   View profile

6 Comments

Post a Comment
  • Charlotte Kuchinsky 2/28/2007

    Well very done. I'm SOOOO guilty of this.

  • T.H.Pankey 2/28/2007

    Good stuff I say. Good stuff he says.

  • May Monten 2/28/2007

    I agree with Sarah, but with the (huge) caveat that Virginia Woolf probably knew exactly what she was doing, which conventions she was breaking and why. That's very different from a beginning writer who may not even be aware that conventions exist. There's a line in Strunk & White that I like about how first you should master standard usage, which is a challenging enough task in itself, before trying to be "creative" and improve on it. What's true for language usage is also true for story structure. Anyway, that was a good article, S. Clear and well-written. (And there must be something in the air -- I also wrote an article about point of view that just got published a couple of days ago. Synchronicity!)

  • S. Thompson 2/26/2007

    Thanks Jack! Sarah, I would imagine that this is a point of opinion, though I can't stand "head hopping", even when done on purpose. It brings the reader out of the novel to wonder how one character knows what the other is thinking. Any publisher, editor or literary agent would discourage it, particularly in young writers.

  • Jack Oceano 2/26/2007

    Well done, Steve!

  • Sarah Peters 2/26/2007

    In some cases it is actually a brilliant narrative construction, i.e., Virginia Woolf. While instructing people in the skill of writing, be careful to not discourage originality, creative brilliance and ingenuity!

Displaying Comments

To comment, please sign in to your Yahoo! account, or sign up for a new account.