Politicians, the Internet and Mopping

Will someone please explain to me what is going on with so-called adults in this world? It is a frightening thought that we, the voting public, continue to elect bozos who don't have better sense than to send half-naked pictures of themselves over the Internet. Is this the best we've got out there? And even more scary is the fact that these are our role models for the next generations of government leaders. But take heart, my friends, I think I have an idea for helping these people think twice about becoming the poster boy for stupidity.

Please pardon me while I digress a moment, though, before I divulge my plan. As many of my friends know, I hate housework. I find nothing fulfilling about seeing myself in a dish, chasing dust around a coffee table or aggravating that poor, little spider just trying to find a home in the corner. Some chores are worse than others, such as bending face-down over a toilet and digging dirty socks out from under the bed, but one of the worst is mopping. There is not a good mop on the planet Earth, regardless of what those TV people say.

In fact, I consider mopping rather a ridiculous idea. After all, everyone who comes through that room is going to have picked up some dirt from somewhere and leave a certain amount of it on the floor. I say when footprints start showing, then it's time to mop.

Sponge mops are rectangular. Who's the genius that thought that up? And why can't someone create a mop that will go behind the toilet? And why is it that people who install toilets in bathrooms not leave just a little more room back there. Why can't the great mop-makers of the world come up with a round one that will fit behind there? Is that asking too much?

I think politicians who disgrace themselves in public should have to mop toilets for a living. And not their home toilets, but public toilets in such places as the Capitol Building, the White House and any other public monuments. In fact, if they're so proud of their bodies, I say let them go shirtless. That way every tourist and other politico can judge how great the view is and even take pictures, because I'm sure the mopper will be delighted to have his picture passed around at the Thanksgiving table. It might even get him a few votes.