Pondering Death

At times, we cannot find the words to comfort a loss. We search our hearts and minds and pray that the spirit of God can remove the feeling of emptiness. Memorial Day was a moment in the year to ponder the end of life. We hope and pray at times like this, that our faith brings understanding. Without faith, a death can bring with it, bitterness and despair. With faith and hope, we can utilize the coping tools designed for all.

Understanding that coming to terms with a loss isn't easy, is the first step. The fact is. we are faced with the prospect of death in every chapter of our lives. As children, we experience simple losses, if we're fortunate, such as the loss of a pet. As adults, we're likely to lose our grandparents; and as a natural progression, our parents. As is often the case, the unimaginable prematurely removes a spouse, sibling or friend from our lives. Death or loss is a part of life that no one wants to dwell on. In grieving, nothing can ultimately bring comfort like the passage of time. Acceptance is important! Letting go of grief and replacing it with acknowledgement of the unknowable will help.

Early in the grieving process, we see death as an end that we cannot allow ourselves to acknowledge. When confronted with it, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, we ignore the obvious, and run through the routine of living as if nothing has changed, denying that it is, what it is. We question decisions and events that may have led up to the loss. At this time, we may find ourselves experiencing every emotion, from anger to depression. Without a foundation of hope, blame and confusion can slow the healing necessary for the recovery from loss. Our lives ultimately change with a death and will never return to just the way it was; but one must realize this and learn to be comfortable with life as it has evolved. Feeling the way we do makes us human, and if faced with loss, most others among us would react in similar fashion. The healing process can take years of effort and we should not be ashamed or be made to feel that we cannot take our time and adjust at our own pace. Time is the only thing that heals the emptiness, and over time, we will find peace that surpasses our understanding.

As the years pass, life will pattern differently, but our hearts can be lifted when memories are brought into focus. Holidays and Anniversaries are a time to celebrate the joy that is life and the thrill that is hope. Death marks a change for everyone's consciousness who remains on this side of life. No matter how loss affects you, have faith in the certainty that: 'the most in time is where we are meant to be'. We cannot change the direction of our ultimate destiny, but we can find comfort in the peace, hope, and love of those who have gone before us and have prepared the way for us.