Poor Man, Poorer Man: Living Life on the Cheap

I've been poor before. Poor. Dirt poor. Don't get me wrong. I had a roof over my head and electricity, but that's about it. Once a month, my roommates and I found ourselves with an empty kitchen and a week to go until payday. These are a few of the creative ways we had to get us through the lean times until we got that next check.

Groceries and Household Goods

--Want to get napkins, salt, pepper, sugar and ketchup for a little over a dollar? Go to your local fast food joint and order something off the dollar menu. Then stock up on what you really came for.

--All the groceries you can carry for $5. Go to the dining hall for lunch. This is less expensive than the dinner meal if you don't have a meal plan and they sometimes still have breakfast food. Get a "To Go" box. Load up on slices of breads. Then go to the salad bar. Skip the salad and go for the meats, cheeses, and hardboiled eggs. Then stock up on good warm up foods, like pizza and quesadillas. Really stuff the box. Then get a bowl and fill it with cereal. Put your booty in a bag, and then add fresh fruit and bagels. On your way out the door, don't forget to stockpile on napkins, sugar, salt, and pepper. If you pack right, you can get groceries for the whole week.

--Free toilet paper and soap. Do you ever notice how they stick a spare roll of toilet paper in the stalls at school? Stuff it in your backpack. Then take a recycled liquid soap container and fill it with soap to last you until you get paid.

--Free breakfast/lunch/dinner. Go to any and all events that offer a free meal. It doesn't matter what it's for.

--Wal-mart often offers free samples on their website. Visit weekly and stock up on things you might need in the future.

Cheap Meals

--Take all the canned veggies in your pantry and throw it and a can of tomato sauce in a crock pot. Add water until you get the consistency you want. Instant vegetable soup.

--Take a tortilla, some lunch meat, and a slice of cheese and roll for a lunch. Drink a large glass of water with it.

--Potato chip crumbs sprinkled with cheese and warmed in the microwave until melted makes a good snack.

--Dress up your Ramen with a little ground chuck and green onions.

--Invest in a large bottle of good tequila. When the kitchen is absolutely empty, a couple of shots will make the hunger pains go away.

Make a Few Bucks

--Donate plasma. Go to Google Maps and type in your city and "plasma donation center." It will find the ones closest to your area. Also, check your yellow pages.

--Deliver newspapers. I've never seen a newspaper that's never looking to hire a delivery person. Give your local paper a call.

--Solicit donations for your school. Your university is always looking for people to call alumni for donations. It's fairly easy, you make at least minimum wage, and sometimes they feed you.

--Got an extra vacuum cleaner? Put it on Craigslist. That old chair that sits on the balcony? Put it on Craigslist. You can pretty much sell anything on Craigslist. You won't make a killing, but you'll earn a couple bucks.

--Got nice clothes? If you have some nice things that you received as gifts or you bought, hated, and lost the receipt, take it to a consignment shop. It may not sell right away, but when it does, you'll get decent money.

--Take it back. You have a box of light bulbs you haven't opened? No matter what it is, if you haven't opened it, you can take it back to Walmart for store credit. Then get the things you need.

This article is partially meant as a joke and partially meant as a way to give you ideas how to stretch your bucks, but is in no way meant to make light of situations in which "that next check" is never coming.