Positive or Negative? What Type of Influence Are You?

Social and emotional development in a child is vital to their growth even though there are many ways in which a child can grow. When a child has someone that is willing, and able, to encourage that growth, that child's chances of success are heightened and intensified, socially as well as academically. A child needs to attain and develop many skills to achieve positive development. This can occur through a wide spectrum of ways. Some ways a child can achieve this pinnacle of development is to expand their skills in problem solving, ethics, confidence and most importantly, communication.

Communication is considered to be an important part of the social and emotional development of children because it gives way for understanding and comprehension in many different settings that a child becomes a part of. As well as the fact that communication is an important factor in the basic concept of language. Many theorists, like to Piaget and Vygotsky, believed in social development theories and stressed their importance in the growth and development of children and the importance of communication in the social development. Vygotsky even concluded that communication was the primary functionality of language. The aspect of communication in the theory of social development is important because ability to communicate allows for a deeper understanding and comprehension in many different types of social settings.

Other important aspects in the common social development of children are the ability to problem solve and the ability to have a good work ethic. Both of these aspects work together hand in hand to contribute to positive and encouraging development within children. In order for children to feel as though their hard work and dedication to a task at hand is valued, the child needs to make sure that they have the ability to properly find solutions to various types of problems. This is proven in Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs Self-Actualization, the "instinctual need of humans to make the most of their abilities and to strive to be the best they can." (Maslow, 2007) Maslow believed that problem solving is one of the key elements to understanding and knowledge; that embracing the facts and theories of life around them will lead to self-actualization and confidence. The ability to have confidence in oneself can lead to having a good work ethic. When there is a good work ethic, a person, a student, is more apt to take better care of a task at hand. This benefit as a child, can become a greater benefit as an adult as they grow and learn through their educational career and then through their adult career.

A positive family environment is an important part of the growth and development for any child. A family that communicates with one another proves to have a stronger and healthier foundation. Having a strong family environment provides a child the chance to learn the necessary skills and resources to be a success in life. The key is open communication within the family environment; a family needs to feel comfortable talking to one another and need to feel encouraged to do so. A parent that is not critical of each and every little thing and shows the children respect; are apt to have children that are more verbally expressive. Instilling proper behavior and manners in children is as important as respect, parents that show that respect, also teach their children to respect others. This skill is an important key to the growth, and survival, of their children.

The installation of open communication and respect in children will lead to the encouragement of healthy and strong work ethics in education and careers. Leading by example through the show of respect, hard work or otherwise, is the best way for a parent to encourage a good work ethic within their children. Children that see that their parents are hard working and responsible are more susceptible to work harder and take more responsibility themselves. Through the promotion of hard work, respect and responsibility a parent can enlighten their children into a broader aspect of life.

Another way that family can influence the development and growth of a child is through compromise, through the ability to think through and resolve problem logically and effectively. Problem solving is a fact of life and the ability to think logically and confidently is the sign of a strong person, adult or child. Children that are able to see the adults in their lives disagree and then work out the issues in a manner that is amicable and without difficulty, realize that problem solving is a everyday way of life. Whether the technique of problem solving is used to solve a minor problem or a larger one, the fact of the matter is that the independence and freedom to determine the best solution lies within everyone. Yet, fostering the confidence in a child to believe that they are able to problem solve for themselves and have the ability to take on responsibilities is critical; especially in a time where there are many adults and children alike that do not have the confidence in themselves to take on these tasks. Parents, adults and even peers that can help foster these emotional hurdles in children can aspire and build confidence in each other. Encouraging children to work and strive to overcome obstacles on their own is a strong character builder and can inspire confidence. The key here is to remember to encourage not criticize.

Then again, there are some children that are products of the environment in which they are raised. Sometimes those children are those that come from homes where there is little to no focus on family, much less the child's social development or even the emotional development. This lack of focus and/or encouragement can cause a severe deficit in the child's overall development and growth.

Communication within the home environment is vital to the overall growth of a child. No communication or negative communication within the household can stifle and repress the feelings of the child and be considered a form of abuse. This fear factor is restraining on the development of many social and emotional skills that a child needs to survive and thrive in the world around them. The constant fear of verbal abuse or neglect can cause the child to not freely express views and/or opinions because of repercussion or ignorance; thus the child's skills of communication and problem solving are severely under-developed.
Since communication skills are impeded, the child's ability it properly solve problems is also impeded. A child that is afraid to speak for fear of punishment is a child that cannot solve problems because of that same fear. The child cannot solve his/her problems for fear of abuse; thus stifling the growth and development of this major life skill. With problem solving repressed in the child, that also impedes upon the growth of the child's ability to produce a good and honest work ethic. In the home environment, a child may see the adult(s) do only what is needed to barely accomplish a task or use minimal effort to get by, again setting the example for the child that it is not important to take pride and assert effort into the task at hand. The adults in the home may be unemployed and not making an attempt at finding employment, once again setting a bad example for the child. A child, whether a toddler or a teen, learns by example and when they see little to no effort being used to better the environment around them, they follow that lead and do not make the effort to better themselves either.

Although the home should be the primary source of a child's growth and development, the school is also a focal point for growth and development of a child - a primary source for some children though. Regardless of primary or secondary stance, school is an important factor in the social and emotional learning, the development of strong character, the implementation of good work ethics, academic achievement and safety. For many children in today's world, school is also the main place where they feel cared about, respected and important rather than just a resource. (Elias, 2003)

Encouraging communication within the classroom is considered to be a primary concern of every educator. Facilitating opportunities within the classroom for students to communicate and interact with peers is one of the best ways for a child to increase and develop their ability to communicate effectively and easily. Children are more apt to communicate among themselves before they will communicate with an adult, but it is still important for the educator to encourage open communication and contact with the student themselves. Allowing for this open line of communication, or as some call it an "open door," it will also allow for the students to gain a feeling of trust and security with their teacher for a greater depth to the development of communication.

The primary responsibility of an educator is to encourage a strong work ethic from the students and to do this an educator assigns various tasks of difficulty and length. The work may be difficult or easy, but can be a positive experience for the student when the student has a good work ethic and pride in his/her work. The educator's objective is to make sure that tasks are on a reasonable timeline to help with the reinforcement of good work ethics. Later in life, a supervisor will not tell them that the report is due whenever they feel like finishing it. Starting students early in learning that deadlines are important and a fact of life is a reality that needs to be faced, even at an early age.

Problem solving can come in handy at this point in time because the student can then use the technique to figure out how to complete the assignment at the last minute without making the work look like it was last minute work. All students need to understand the problem solving techniques and strategies can make the grade, or drop the grade, based on the choices that they, the student, made. The fact of the matter is that students need to be taught "age-appropriate strategies for conflict resolution," whether the decision is for class assignments or life lessons. (Elias, 2003) Teachers can be a strong advocate for students by making sure that they [the educator] provides the right amount of information to lead the student in the right direction, but still allow for self-actualization in the resolution.

Allowing the students to have the freedom to solve their own problems will grow their self confidence in themselves. Self-confidence is important and the ability to help a child develop that skill within the classroom is as vital as helping them develop this skill at home. The encouragement from being able to solve a problem with little to no assistance from anyone is a victory for each and every student. The recognition and encouragement from the teacher makes the student feel good about themselves and have a true feeling of accomplishment.

Not all classrooms situations are idealistic and perfect. There are negatives that are not always avoidable or foreseen. These negatives can, and will most assuredly, distract from the atmosphere of learning within the classroom. An educator that is on their toes will hopefully be able to see many of these negatives coming and plan accordingly to prevent a major distraction, but that will not always be the case for everything.

An educator that doesn't communicate well with students can inhibit the development of a student's ability to communicate. An educator that does not listen or speak to the students or even provide the students the opportunities to interact with one another can severe limit the child's chance to build his/her skills. By limiting the child's ability to communicate, the child's ability to problem solve is also limited. Should the educator provide the same static routine daily for assignments and activities, a child is not provided the opportunity to effectively communicate with the teacher nor have the chance find a solution to dilemmas that may arise. Effective communication and problem solving can foster and encourage a strong sense of self confidence in a child.

Poor communication and problem solving skills can be nurtured and developed in the classroom, just as good communication and problem solving skills can be nurtured and developed. An educator can either build or break down a student's confidence level. When the educator cares, the student cares and that is the key to building the necessary skills that a child will need in order to survive in the "real" world.

Whether we take a walk in the mall or in the neighborhood, whether we visit a school or Wal-Mart, we will undoubtly come into contact with adults and children
interacting with one another. Some positive and some negative, but nonetheless, they will be interacting constantly and consistently. I work in an elementary school where the ratio of students is fifty percent military and fifty percent low-income families. Most of our low-income students come to school each day to find that attention and support that they need and want so desperately. A lot of these students are lacking in social- emotional development.

Watching our guidance counselor interact with these children on a daily basis is inspirational to say the least. Her love is expressive and contagious for the students. Regardless of how difficult an attitude and how difficult the child is, she does not give up on them. One of our second grade children lost her toddler brother to a gunshot wound while playing outside earlier this year and she is one of our children that lacks in the social interaction that is greatly needed in the home. There is, and previously have been, constant behavior problems with this little girl, but the counselor has made a time slot for them to spend together at least once a week where they talk, draw or anything, together. That is the key factor, together. The interaction, the time spent together, the attention, is a positive factor for the student to be able to grow and build her self-confidence. There are still problems and issues because of the lack of strong home support, but at least at school, she knows that she is respected and has people to talk to when she needs to talk - or even get a hug.

While there are some people that bolster a child's self-esteem and self-confidence, which we all know that aids in the growth of other social and emotional development needs, there are still people in this world that can destroy a child's self-esteem and self-respect. A mother and her two children were shopping at Wal-Mart. One child, the younger, was in the seat and one, the older, was in the cart itself. The children were loud and obnoxious, demanding and rude, to the mother and the mother herself was loud and obnoxious, demanding and rude, to the children. These children more than likely are following by example. If the mother acts that way to the children, of course the children will then act this way to others, not just the parents. The communication development is damaged in that the children have negative influence in how they should act and react. Thus will more than likely lead to disjointed social and emotional development for the children.

There will never be the "perfect" place for a child to be raised and to develop the necessary skills to live the ideal life. All we can do is our best to be a positive influence and a strong advocate for their positive social, emotional and moral development. We can do all we can to provide these children a safe place where they can feel respected, welcomed and accepted for who they are. We can do our best to encourage the children to be the best that they can be. It will take everyone that is involved in the life of a child to work together to make sure that they learn all that they need to know to be that success that we all know that they can be.

REFERENCES:
Elias, M. J. (2003). Academic and Socio-Emotional Learning. Educational Practices Series -11. Brussels, Belgium: International Academy of Education.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. (2007, February 19). Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved February 20, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs&oldid=109415452