Positive Parenting

The most often word kids hear is "No". Then we wonder why they constantly use that word on us. The key is to learn how to say no without really saying no.

Here are a few steps to keep your parenting more positive and not lose your mind constantly nagging your kids. While negative reinforcement is still a valuable tool, it shouldn't be your only defense against bad behavior. As parents, we need to strike a balance between many forms of parenting to be successful.

Find their currency

You need to find out what makes your child tick. What is truly important to them and then use that as leverage to gain more favorable behavior. The reality of life is that we endure undesirable things when there is something desirable on the other end. When my child was young, he loved to watch the weather. It was almost capital punishment for him to be banned from watching it.

Reward good behavior

If your child has done something good, or is acting in a favorable way, reward the good behavior. They can be planned rewards or surprises. The rewards are anything from a thank you, special treat, or whatever your child's "currency" is. Kids love attention and they will try and get it anyway they can. If you reward you child with attention during the good behavior it will help in moving the child into a desire to behave better.

Include them in tasks or projects

I was working on a home improvement project when my son was 3. He was constantly getting into things while I was trying to put about 300 screws in sheetrock. I gave him the job of handing me screws and he loved it. While it probably took me a few more minutes to complete the job, we were both much happier. He was included, I got the job done and enjoyed having him help in the end.

Redirect the child through positive reinforcement

The problem with constantly telling your kid No, stop it, or don't do that is they might not always remember the appropriate behavior in a situation. Remind them of the correct behavior, even if it's the one hundredth time. When they are jumping on the couch, redirect them to the more appropriate place to jump.

Consistency is the key

Relay a consistent message to your children about what is ok and not ok. No matter what you are trying to accomplish with your child, you need to set a consistent example as well. Repetition is the best way to reinforce behaviors and help them learn the best way to act.

A good parenting resource is located at http://www.focusonthefamily.com/