Positive Self Talk: How to Encourage Yourself

Many times people feel dissatisfied because they don't feel appreciated by others. That's understandable. Of course we all long to be valued by others. But if our happiness depends on the encouragement of others, we may at times find ourselves being needlessly discouraged.

The solution is to encourage yourself!

Here are some ways to do just that.

List small aspects of big blessings. When encouraging yourself, it's great to start off with the well-known and obvious things such as family, friends, your home, and so on. But once you've listed those things, try to be more specific. For instance, if you're thankful for your family, one by one list the members of your family and then write a detailed listing of all of the ways you are thankful for that specific family member. The same can be true for the other biggies. For instance, if you are thankful for your home (and you should be, even if it is humble!), list the specifics about what you appreciate about your home. Think through every aspect of your home, and one by one, list what you are thankful for. Doing this in a detailed manner helps me to think of the benefits that I would normally overlook. For instance, I may think of my shower, and be thankful for good water pressure, for hot water, etc. Are those little things? Yes, and no! They are things you take for granted, and yet would certainly miss if you didn't have them! I've found it helpful to focus on one small aspect of the various big things in my life each day and list absolutely everything I can think that will encourage me.

Make a list of your talents. We often focus on what we're not good at, or ways we fail or wish we are different. But we all have various gifts and abilities. Focusing on those things can provide a great deal of encouragement. Nothing is too small to list! Or, as in the case above, start with something big, and then list absolutely everything you can think of that comes under that particular category. For instance, I love to write, and think I have a reasonable amount of gifting in that area. Whereas I could just list "writing" under my list of gifts, I can also list the ways the specific things about my writing ability that I appreciate, such as the ability to type fast, the way my words have impacted and encouraged others, the income that results from my writing, and so on. Generally speaking, every talent that I have includes multiple "sub talents." Be specific!

Remember the past. Sometimes it is important to forget and let go of the past, but other times it's important to remember the past. For instance, if you are in the middle of a tough time with a friend, remember all of the good times you've had with that friend in the past. If you are concerned about having the money to pay our rent, remind youself of the fact that you have always managed to keep a roof over your head in the past, and that somehow things will work out this time as well. When remembering the past, sometimes it is great fun to think way back, even to childhood, about fun, interesting, and exciting experiences. Often this makes me laugh, and it also helps me to see how rich and wonderful my life has been -- and no doubt will continue to be.

List your worries. This may seem like a strange way to be encouraged, and I'll admit that initially listing my worries sometimes causes me stress! However, listing my worries is often the first step in dealing with the issues at hand, and as I deal with them, I'm encouraged. Also, as I list my worries -- especially if write in my journal about them -- I often see that they are not as big and scary as I thought. Often, when I journal about my concerns or the things I'm frustrated about, I find that I am blowing things out of proportion and that the situation isn't nearly as bad as I initially thought. That's encouraging!

Remind yourself of encouragement from others. Yes, this article is about encouraging yourself, but sometimes you can do that by remembering past encouragement from others. Perhaps no one has done anything to encourage you this past week or even month, but we've all had bits of encouragement from others in the past. One of the best things you can do is keep an "encouragment folder." Put all kinds of bits of encouragement into that folder! If someone sends you a card with an encouraging word, rather than tossing it, stick it in the folder. When someone leaves an especially kind word on one of your articles, copy and paste that into a Word document and save it. Add bits of encouragement to the document as you receive them. And don't forget to also type in words of encouragement that have been spoken to you as well.

Be encouraged today!