Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and the Cancer Patient

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a severe anxiety disorder triggered by a psychologically traumatizing event. PTSD is mostly known as affecting soldiers who return home from war. Military experience is only one risk factor for PTSD. People who experience injury, threat of death to oneself or others, traumatizing natural or manmade disasters, etc. are each at risk of developing PTSD. Something many people do not realize is PTSD can develop in cancer survivors. After some time spent in psychotherapy, I realized I am one of those survivors. I accumulated several scars from fighting cancer prior to the age of 18. My physicians often referred to theses scars as "battle wounds" and called me a soldier. I did not understand the connection between what they were saying and reality until several years later. Fighting cancer is a fight for one's life. The fight may also expose the person in battle to losing others to cancer (similar to a soldier who loses a comrade in war). I have lost several friends to cancer over the past two and one half decades. Less than three months ago, I lost my bravest comrade, my mom.

There are several symptom classes for PTSD. Re-experiencing, avoidance, and hyper arousal are the three main categories. Some cancer patients' PTSD symptoms fall into these three categories.
The symptoms I feel often fall into the re-experiencing category. For several years after completion of chemotherapy, I had to return to St. Jude hospital in Memphis, TN (where I underwent chemotherapy) for regular checkups. I thought about having had cancer every day-whether near Memphis or not but the return trips made the symptoms unbearable.

With each glimpse of the Memphis-Arkansas Bridge my body went into physical illness. The nausea began with the sight of the bridge. We have attended concerts in the Pyramid at Memphis since my last St. Jude hospital visits and in spite of the trip being for fun, I continue to experience nausea and anxiety attacks when glimpsing the Memphis-Arkansas Bridge. My level of psychological stress upon arriving in the vicinity of the hospital is such I cannot put it into words. The return to the bridge feels like re-experiencing the horrors of chemotherapy treatment and fear of relapse all over again.

Another category of symptoms is avoidance of triggers related to the experience. Logically if something makes a person feel anxiety and illness they will tend to avoid that something. While I could not avoid return trips to the hospital, I avoid returning to Memphis at times. Like many soldiers who avoid speaking of their war time experience, I do not speak of my past with cancer often outside of these articles. These experiences and fears appear in psychotherapy and I am healing from them.

Hyper-arousal is another symptom class for PTSD. The night before medical testing I do not sleep at all. During sleep the mind attempts to make sense of trauma and trauma can be expressed in various ways. I have vivid dreams where I relive the event of my relapse and subsequent second cancer diagnosis. I have dreamed of being stuck in St. Jude hospital, forced to enter ICU, and watch myself die from cancer. No one would want to sleep having these dreams. Sometimes this hyper-arousal and inability to sleep appear for no logical reason. Recently I had a dream I was on a peaceful island and it morphed into a hospital.

When someone who has undergone cancer loses a loved one to cancer it also triggers these symptoms. My mom died in November 2010 of problems related to her cancer and many times I have dreamed of taking her place. Cancer patients may not experience the event in the same way-unlike a lot of war veterans but we experience commonalities and can relate to fighting a similar enemy as soldiers do.

Therapy is an option to help recover from PTSD if someone is willing to talk about their experiences. Certain medications have been known to help reduce symptoms. These medications tend to fall in the SSRI and Tricyclic antidepressant categories. I have used Trazadone, Sertaline, Amitryptaline, and various other medications throughout the years in an attempt to relieve symptoms.

For someone unable to speak to a therapist, support groups exist on the Internet.
PTSD is a disorder caused by living through something traumatic in life. The trauma isn't always something that completely disappears. Sometimes events completely unrelated trigger the trauma and bring panic attacks. Logically one who does not have PTSD tells the one who does their experience is over (it usually is) and it is time to continue in life but recovery from something traumatic often means a person needs help. There is no shame in accepting that help.