Potty Pointers for Perplexed Parents

Parents have been coming to see me in my practice for years complaining about how hard it is to potty train their child. There are a number of reasons why you may be having a hard time. Actually, when a child is ready potty training should not take long at all to accomplish. Here are some things to help you succeed faster and easier.

Children have a limited attention span - Your child can only focus on a task for a short period of time - usually their age plus one minute. So a two year old should not be asked to do anything for more than two minutes or they will lose focus and interest.

Don't turn potty time into story time - Many parents get a book and have the child sit on the potty while they read a story. Your child will completely forget what they are sitting there for and listen to the story. If your child doesn't go in two minutes take them off the potty. Success comes by revisiting the potty often, not by sitting there for a half hour. You will accomplish your goal by going to the potty more frequently for shorter amounts of time then dragging out each visit.

Is your child really ready? - You child should be able to walk and convey to you their needs. They have to be able to be aware of the urgency and know what it means. Potty training has nothing to do with intelligence. So many parents feel embarrassed that their 18 month old won't potty and so many feel pride that theirs' will. Children have to have matured physically enough to be able to control their urination. By 2 most kids have reached that level of physical maturity.

On the toilet or on a potty? - Kids feel more secure with their feet on the floor. The toilet is very high and intimidating. A small potty in the bathroom will give your child a greater sense of security and stability, especially for bowel movements. But please, put the potty in the bathroom. It may be more convenient for you to have it in the kitchen but your child has to learn that the bathroom is where this behavior takes place.

Never punish your child for accidents. You don't want elimination to be fraught with anxiety. You may be frustrated but your child will eventually be potty trained. I promise.

Keep your child dressed when potty training. Many of my patients have left their children naked in the house while potty training. They feel it's just easier then pulling pants up and down. It's not an issue about how clean your house is. Pulling pants up and down is part of the process of going to the bathroom and should be included as part of the training. Change to pull ups now and keep them on.

Never give your child food for accomplishing the task. Clapping and a hug will suffice. You don't want eating to become a positive reinforcement for anything. It's a good way to create an obese child.

When starting out let both girls and boys sit down. Expecting your son to have the aim he will need is a motor skill which involves more coordination then he has at this age. It won't be hard to get him to stand up when he sees dad doing it. And even if you are a single mom and there is no dad you will still be able to make that switch fairly easily later on. So, in the beginning, everyone sits. You may want to get a seat with a cup to catch the stream. It makes it harder for him to get on the potty alone so you decide if you want one or not.

Once your child starts to use the potty they will become more difficult to travel with because they will need to make potty stops when you are out. It will be hard to resist putting them back into a diaper for your convenience. Don't expect your child to understand that they are supposed to potty in the house but not when they are outside. Remember your goal is to have them become aware of the feeling of urgency and respond by letting you know. They will do that wherever you are so you may not want to take them to places where you cannot get to a bathroom until they have really got the hang of this potty thing.

Just stay calm and maintain your resolve. If you can't potty train your child and they have reached the age of 3 check with your doctor just to make sure all of their machinery is working right.