Potty Training Advice

"Help! My two year oldthree year old four-year-old won't potty train! I know they are big enough, they've done it before - but now they are refusing! It seems like it is a battle of the wills going on here, and I'm the one losing!" I hear this again and again from the moms in my "circle". So what's a mom to do? How do you get your preschooler out of diapers and into big boy/girl pants? Here are some tried and true methods that can get even the most stubborn child to train.

1. Bribe-em baby! What does your child love? Is it Elmo? Chocolate? Coloring? Music? When my youngest was potty training, he loved m&m's, but these were special treats he didn't get every day. We bought a big bag of them, and put his name on the bag in big letters. At first, he got one m&m each time he sat on the potty. "Sat" meant pulling down his pants, sitting, getting up, getting dressed, and washing hands. Once he had mastered that, he got one m&m each time he tinkled on the potty, and two each time he had a bowel movement. You'll be amazed at how well this works. Even a two-year-old can understand the concept. Work=Reward

2. Change more than just the diapers! Let the big-kid lifestyle apply to more then just pottying. Sometimes, parents want their child to big a "big kid" and use the potty, and yet treat them like a baby in every other way. When you think your child is old enough to get rid of diapers, it's time for other babyish things to go as well. Potty training is the ideal time to move your child to a big-kid bed, lose the bottles or sippy cups and allow them to sit at the table without a booster seat. Letting your child be a big-kid in all areas of their life reinforces your message to them that they are, indeed, big.

3. Make it a family affair! (This works especialy well for families with multiple children.) Some children don't like to be singled out with things like a potty chart, when older brothers and sisters (who they see as the "real" big kids) don't use them. Ideally, potty training doesn't take more then a few weeks. During that time, I would suggest using the same rewards for the entire family. Daddy went potty? Great! He gets a sticker! Sister when potty? Great! She gets to watch a little TV. The child you are potty training will love that the entire family is involved. Just be sure to make as big a deal for each member of the family using the potty as you do for the child you are actually potty training. It makes a HUGE difference!

4. Talk the talk... It is so important to be encouraging when your child is learning to use the potty. As discouraging as it can be, try not to be negative at all when discussing the potty. Instead of negative phrases, try these: "I can't wait to see how many times you make it to the potty today! " "You are an expert potty-goer!" And my all-time favorite, which worked like a charm with all my kids: "I think you are even better at going potty then Mommy! Let's keep track and see which one of us goes more today!"

5....and walk the walk. The most important thing to remember is that this is a hands-on project. You'll need to work side by side with your children until they are totally trained. This means bringing them to the potty often, asking when they need to go, and holding their hand (sometimes when they are on the potty - 'cause let's face it pooping is a bit scary at first - just ask my oldest). Potty training takes time, and patience, and multiple bathroom visits. But in the in end, it will all be worth it. No more diapers for you to buy, and a new sense of self-confidence for your preschooler.