Potty Training Boys - A Guide to Success

Learning to use the toilet is something that we all must do. Usually around the age of two, children begin to have the ability to control the release of urine and stool. Most often, boys take longer to potty train than girls. Boys may not show signs of readiness until the age of 3 or later, but some may surprise you, especially if they are regularly in a setting with other potty trained children (older siblings or daycare). Experts are unsure as to why boys often take longer. One reason given may be that mothers are generally the primary potty trainer and without that constant male influence, it may just take longer for them to grasp the concept.

What You Should Be Looking for From Your Toddler (according to the experts at www.babycenter.com)

-Physical or verbal signs of having bowel movements (squatting, grunting or telling you)

-Has words for urine and stool

-Dislikes wet or dirty diapers. -Shows interest in the bathroom habits of others (wants to watch or wear underwear)

-Has dry periods of more than a couple hours (for example at naptime) - shows the bladder has the ability to hold it.

-Has well formed stools at predictable times.

-Shows signs of independence (wants to do everything themselves) and takes pride in accomplishments.

What Should You Do Before Starting To Potty Train?

Make a plan of action. Decide when and how you want to start and go about potty training. Decide if you will you work on peeing first (often much easier to learn) or pooping first. Think about a reward system, one that you think will work for your child. Think about accidents and how you will handle them. Think flexibility. Even the most ingeniously laid out plan may be no match for a toddler. You may need to back off entirely or rethink your plan or reward system.

Things To Purchase.

A potty chair or potty seat - This is probably the most essential thing needed when potty training. Toddlers are little and an adult toilet may be scary. Their tiny tushes are just to small for the large opening and may cause them to be uncomfortable both physically and mentally. There are several different styles, shapes and colors of potties on the market. Some range from very cheap to very expensive; some make noise while others sit quietly; some are designed with only boys in mind. When shopping for a potty look at what you will need as well as your budget. When potty training a boy you will most likely look for a potty with a splash guard to keep urine in the potty rather than on your floor or clothes. If you have space issues and do not have room in your bathroom for a potty chair or are adverse to emptying and cleaning the "pot" portion of the potty, you may want to look into potty seats or rings that fit on the regular toilet. If you chose a potty seat or ring, you will probably want to purchase a small step stool. This will help the child be independent (getting on and off the potty by themselves) and will also help with bowel movements. It is easier to push stool out when your feet have something to push against.

Pull-up style training pants or disposable training pants - There are several name brand and store brand training pants (diaper style absorbency) on the market. It may take a few tries to find one that you like and what works for your toddler. From personal experience, I recommend ones that have easy open sides for changing accidents and ones that are easy for your toddler to pull up and pull down without assistance. If you would prefer not to go the disposable pants route, there are plastic or vinyl training pants available. These are like regular underwear, but bulkier to be absorbent and with a vinyl outer coating to prevent leaks, which may make it difficult to wear certain types of tighter fitting clothing. If you think jumping in with both feet would work for your child you can also purchase regular big kid underpants (most often sporting favorite cartoon characters) and jump right in. There will be lots of accidents and lots of laundry using this method, however, and it is probably not suited to many households.

Flushable wipes - we all know that you cannot flush regular baby wipes and the easiest thing to clean up poopy messes is a wet wipe. You do not have to buy the child oriented wipes which are often more expensive due to marketing toward a young audience with colorful characters. Adult wipes work just as well and can be just as easy for children to use.

Child-oriented potty training books - there are many cute books out there which may help your toddler learn what it is like to be a big boy. There are generic potty books and ones geared toward boys as well as toward girls. Check out your local book store's selection as well as online.

The Reward System

Finding a reward system that works for you may be the hardest part. Think about when you praise your child. Do you give lots of verbal praise (claps and cheers), do you reward good work with food, does your child like material things like small toys or stickers? In our house, giving my son something to work towards greatly assisted in his potty training adventure and made us successful. We used the sticker reward chart, which I made myself with a sheet of paper and a few crayons (there's no need for high-tech designs) and for each successful potty visit, my son was rewarded with a sticker. When the chart was filled with stickers, he was rewarded with a larger item. Many parents give candy as a reward (an M&M, gummy bear or even small chocolate bars) for each time the child goes successfully. An alternative to the food route is small toys. This can be done the same as the sticker system. For example, if your child enjoys small toy cars, purchase several cars (say 10) and for each successful time the child receives a car. After all the small cars are received a larger car or race track can be the big reward.

The prospect of wearing big kid underpants may also be a useful reward. Your child may have a desire to keep their favorite cartoon character dry and being a big kid.

Teaching Your Child to Use The Potty

Once you've decided on a plan, purchased the necessary paraphernalia, and decided on a reward, it's time to start potty training. Introduce your child to his new potty chair. If your child is hesitant to sit, don't push. Let him sit fully clothed just to try it out. Start out slowly. When your child is getting ready for bathtime, let him sit on the potty while you are filling the tub. If something good happens, show them what they did and give them praise. In the beginning, your child may not know what just happened so let them experience it a few times before starting the reward system. Give them a chance to learn about their bodily functions.

When they seem interested in sitting on the potty more often, let them. Start scheduling "potty breaks" throughout the day where they take a break from playing and sit for a few minutes. Some kids will want to sit and sit and sit. It helps sometimes to set a timer so they have a time frame to work in. When you have started seeing results from potty breaks, explain the reward system to your child and begin. If you are using a chart, place it someplace so the child can see it often, like on the fridge. Be consistent with the rewards and don't react negatively or punish the child when accidents (and there will be some) happen.

If after a few months you still are not having success or if your child suddenly seems reluctant or resistant to using the potty, you may have to change tactics or back off entirely. In my house, we tried for several months without success until I attempted to teach my son to pee standing up at the big potty rather than sitting on a potty chair or potty seat. I kept track of when he had accidents and started encouraging him to stand in front of the potty at those times. Once he actually saw what his equipment did he learned much faster. He was also excited about "making bubbles" in the potty. The prospect of "bubbles" and a sticker helped him learn. In addition to using the 'making bubbles" method, you could use O shaped cereal or even pieces of toilet paper to essentially play a sink the item game. Whatever makes potty training fun might help your child learn. After a couple months of continued success with peeing, we started focusing on the pooping portion of potty training. We followed the same reward system using stickers and allowed him to choose his own reward, a toy jackhammer. Having previously used the same system it worked very well the second time and we were completely potty trained in two weeks.

Don't forget to teach good hand washing skills while potty training. These things go hand in hand. Make sure your little one uses warm water and soap for at least 30 seconds. Try singing the ABC's (or another favorite 30 second song) while hand washing. It will make it fun as well as good hygiene.

Things to Watch Out For

Public restrooms - With modern bathrooms moving from manual to automatic, things can be scary to small children and can sometimes cause terror and regression. Sometimes telling your child that these new fangled potties, sinks and hand dryers are "magic" will help them get past or avoid fear. Covering the sensor on the toilet may also ease your toddler's fear of the unexpected flush. Be aware of the Xcelerator brand air hand dryers. These are much stronger than regular had dryers and the force exerted may still be scary even for the toddler who loves other 'magic" dryers.

Clothing that is difficult for your child to remove easily. If your child is independent and has to do everything for himself, clothing with lots of zippers, buttons and snaps and even those so cute on your toddler overalls may hinder his ability to get to the potty in a timely manner. Try to stick with elastic waistbands which can be easily pulled down or be ready to help quickly. Kids often do not realize they need to go until the NEED to go and every second may count before accidents happen.

The "potty emergency" - there will be times when you will be out and about and your child will need to use the bathroom. Sometimes you will be near a bathroom and sometimes you won't be, like in the car. Be prepared for accidents during these times. Encourage your child to go to the bathroom before you leave and carry an extra change of clothes. Your child may be upset about the accident so remember to remain calm and understanding.

Engrossing activities may also be an accident waiting to happen. Sometimes children get so into the game or toy they are playing with that they forget to go to the bathroom. If you know your child will be engrossed in these activities have them try to go to the bathroom before they start playing. Different surroundings may cause regression or more accidents. If you plan to take trips during potty training try to keep things as routine as possible, but know that despite the routine there may be still be accidents.

The new baby - sometimes when a new sibling comes into the family, it may make your potty training or potty trained child regress. They may see you taking care of the new baby and want you to take care of them in the same way. It may also be a way to get attention because they feel left out. Do not to punish the child for accidents. Remember to spend time with your toddler one on one and it may prevent or remedy any regression.

The Finishing Touches

It has been several months since finishing our potty training adventure and we very rarely have accidents during the day and are in "big boy underpants" daily. There are still a few things that need to be learned before a child can be completely potty trained, like properly wiping on their own, how to button and unbutton clothing as well as being potty trained overnight but if you have made it this far, those things will eventually fall into place as your child grows and matures. Don't worry. Your child will not still be in diapers on his graduation day, even though it may seem that way now. Remember to have patience and understanding as potty training is a tough subject to master, but once you hit on the method that works for your child, you'll be getting straight A's!