Potty Training - Not Fun, but Somebody's Got to Do It!!

Potty training is not fun but it is a time that parents look forward to getting out of the way. When a child is finally potty trained, it means no more spending money on diapers, no more wasted time changing diapers and a little more independence in the child. No wonder parents can't wait!! Some parents start to potty train their children before they even celebrate their first birthday. This usually doesn't amount to much. A child has to be able to stop the flow of urine and a child that young generally cannot do that. Most children will be in diapers for the majority of their toddler years. On average, most children are one hundred percent potty trained by the time they are three and a half years old. There are some that are potty trained earlier and some later as well. It all depends on the child.

Many parents believe that they must potty train their child in a certain way as to not scare them or pressure them. Sigmund Freud once said that the parent's methods in potty training dictated a child's career choice later in life. He believed that overly lax potty training methods would create sloppy children that would want to become painters or something along those lines. If more harsh potty training methods were utilized, then the child would want to become something more professional, such as an accountant. Of course, there is no scientific evidence to this and it was just something that Freud once believed. Sounds kind of crazy if you ask me!! Yet, some still think that over controlling adults that have been said to have anal personalities probably are that way due to the way they were potty trained. Makes me laugh!!

The only wrong thing to do in potty training is to pressure the child and scare them. The child has to want to be potty trained. They have to be physically ready as well as mentally ready. Toddlers are generally in control of this situation. As a parent, you need to try to motivate without pushing and help them to learn the skills needed to succeed. Rewarding sometimes works. When your child goes on the potty, use the reward system. Either have a star chart and put a star on each time they go on the potty or some other type of reward that they would respond to. Maybe after a certain number of stars is achieved, offer a special day out to Chuck E Cheese or McDonald's. This sometimes gives them the incentive to try a little harder so that they can have what they want.

You can tell if your child is ready by checking for these things:

Your child remains dry for at least three hours at a time.
Your child wakes up from a nap or in the morning dry, at least most of the time.
Bowel movements are more predictable and the stools are well formed.
Hides in a corner or hiding spot when he/she is having a bowel movement in their diaper.
Urinates a good amount each time instead of a little here and a little there.
Your child is able to stop the flow of urine once they have begun.
Your child can recognize that he/she is about to have a bowel movement.
Your child understands what the toilet is for.
Your child is proud of himself/herself when they do something good.
He/she wants to wear big kid underwear.
Your child dislikes being in a soiled or wet diaper.

One good way to promote potty training is to let your toddler in the bathroom with you when you go. This shows them what the toilet is for, how to use it and that it isn't going to harm them in any way. Sometimes, flushing scares children. They do not like the sound or the fact that the water goes down. In the summer, you can let your child run around naked. Inside the house, it can be messy and just more cleaning for you to do but if you have a backyard that is a little more secluded, you can have them run around outside. It may help them to actually see themselves in the act of urinating. Point out to them that what they are doing should be done in the potty. They may make a connection there.

Buying a baby potty is always a good starting place as well. It is their own and small and not as scary as the big toilet is. Take your child out and let them pick out their own baby potty. There are many different types with different characters on them. Some even sing when wet, some make flushing noises and some even have stars appear when urine hits the potty. When you first buy one, let them sit on it with their clothes on and experiment with it a little bit before expecting them to just go for it. Ask your child if they would like to go to the potty when you are. Maybe this will make them feel a little more secure.

It is always best to not start potty training if something else is going on in their lives. If there is a lot of stress in their life, it is best to wait. Pressure is not a good thing during this difficult time, for the child or the parent. If a child is starting a new day care or if a parent is not home as much as before, it is best to wait a little while. The child should be the guide as to when to start the process.

However you decide to potty train your toddler or even when you decide you should keep a few things in mind. Do not pressure or stress the child out or yourself. Your child will go at their own pace. If you encourage and reward you will have better luck. Your child may want to do it one day and not the next. Don't threaten or scream about it. That will make it a negative experience. You will have much better luck if it is made to be a positive time in his/her life. Not too many children are still in diapers at four years old so just know that it will be a process that ends well. Keep trying and it will happen.