Potty Training Tips for the Special Needs Child

Potty training any child can be quite stressful. Add in the factor of the child being one who has special needs, , makes it almost too daunting of a task. . With a bit of creativity and consistency, however, you will be successful. Here are some tips to make the process more easy; or at least, bearable.

The first and most important tip is to stop worrying and comparing. Yes, there are some parents who have their child potty trained at the age of eighteen months. I wonder what they had to do for this to happen and squirm as I imagine a parent so obsessed with their child's elimination that it takes a front seat to baby's emotional well being, playtime, daily schedule and family sanity. That is not healthy, although, it will be quite convenient for the parent in the long run. Take this time to realize that it is about your child's own individual growth and not preset age markers or your own convenience and control. The ultimate goal is to do what is best for your child's health and well being, not the parent's convenience.

Don't put a timeline on your child or yourself. Don't berate your child for not progressing quickly enough or even for regressing. Don't compare yourself to other parents who are in similar circumstances. Know that each child and each experience is different. It is essential that you feel comfortable and accept the way in which your child is growing. Your child might not succeed as quickly while potty training, but your neighbor's child might not succeed in a different area. Berating and/or stressing your child will have negative effects on their emotional, social and physical development.

Assess whether your child is really ready for potty training. Admit that you might be more ready than he/she is for this milestone to take place. To assess your child, you might ask the following questions. Can he/she communicate when he/she has to go to the bathroom? Can your child tell when he has used the restroom on him/herself? Does your child squirm and try to get him/herself free from his/her mess? Does your child try taking off his/her clothes when you are changing his/her diaper or nappy? Is he/she starting to take notice of his/her genitals or the toilet? If you answered "Yes," then, it may well be time to teach your child to go to the toilet.

It is also important to chart your child's bathroom habits before you begin to potty train him/her. This will help in reducing accidents because you will know at about what time your child will need to use the restroom. Take two weeks to write down your child's schedule. It probably will only take a week to recognize patterns. Maybe your child uses the restroom right after waking from sleep. Maybe it is ten minutes from the time that he/she has eaten. Try to identify any patterns of elimination.

After identifying patterns, sit them on the potty when you suspect that they might need to use the restroom.

If your child seems not to care about the toilet and you think that he/she should, you can start with a very subtle activity of association. . You might need to start pairing the words with the object and situation. Every time you have to change a diaper or nappy, say the same thing. Let your child see you use the restroom and say the same things. Soon, the child will be mocking you when you take off his/her diaper and when you are in the bathroom. Then, you pair those words with a new activity: sitting on the toilet. now, you have a framework for moving forward.

Consistency is the key to eventual potty training. You might break down the goal of potty training into smaller objectives. Wait until your child is comfortable with accomplishing the first objective before moving forward. Some objectives might include: identifying when there is a need to go, making an attempt to communicate this to the parent, partnering the toilet or potty with this need, going through the motions of potting when those sensations occur and eventually performing the task successfully. If this only happens once a day, it is a step in the right direction and needs to be praised.

The child might get stuck on one step. Remember they learn more slowly than we do. Don't get frustrated. Go back to the previous step and reinforce it. Then, move on slowly.

When you sit your child on the potty, stay with him or her until either they go or you decide to try again later. Don't stress the child out about insisting that they perform quickly. Let them know what the goal is, but remember that patience is a virtue. In this early stage, some parents put a sensor in the child's underwear which will either play a song or vibrate when the underwear is wet. This will allow you to respond quickly after you hear the music. In the case of vibrating, it will allow the child to notice when he/she is beginning to wet himself and act accordingly. One such sensor is called "tinkle tunes," and is found on the internet.

Some parents have said that potty videos and pottying dolls have helped. If your child is a big pretender, these might also help in the potty training process. By your child teaching his/her doll to potty train, he/she might reinforce these patterns him/herself.

Some parents report a positive experience with potties that make music or emit a sound after their child has pottied. Personally, they did not work for us. While they were certainly a novelty at first, they soon lost their charm. Also, some did not work as well as they claimed and we had to continue to send defective sensors back to be replaced. However, some parents and teachers of special needs children have given them rave reviews. They are worth a try.

There are some sensory reasons why potty training might be difficult for your child. Some children don't like the sensation of a tingling bladder, the feel of wetness on their body or the feel of defecation. Thus, they either try to hold it in or ignore its existence. Make sure that your child is not constipated. Other than this, you will just have to slowly help them adapt to these uncomfortable bodily sensations. Some children are frightened by the flush of the toilet. This can easily be remedied; however, it is worth taking into consideration if your child is resistant to sit on the toilet.

Each little step should be praised. Praise them when/if they move forward and do nothing if they move back again. The absence of praise will help them understand that they do want the praise. You can reassure them that things will be okay and encourage them to try. If you praise them for their accomplishments, they will want to please. Some people give rewards when a child has successfully completed a task. While awards are ok, they will soon be the accepted norm and might lose their value. They also could turn out to be more problem than they are worth. Although I don't recommend food rewards, if a food reward is given, I would suggest something quite healthy. If the reward is allowing your child to "do" something fun, make sure that you are prepared to honor that reward system, even when you are out. Remember to make the rewards immediate. Children don't see a connection between what they are doing now and what they will get later. This is a learning in long term consequence and the child does not have the capability of understanding this yet.

You might need to have a checkup. Some children do have very small bladders or other problems that prevent them from accomplishing the goal of potty training. If you have been trying for a couple of months and have seen little to no results, I would suggest a medical examination for your child.

Following these steps will help you to have a successful potty training experience without much stress. Yes, it might take a bit longer than it did for Mrs. Jones' daughter. But, your child is less likely to regress and your child has not suffered any emotional damage. It is not worth stressing you and your child out over something that will eventually happen. Relax and know that soon enough, your child will move on to more challenging stages. When the child sees you relax, they will also and it will make this process go more smoothly.