Poverty in America

Let's say that, just for the sake of conversation, that you have a friend from college, or high school. Your friend has led a normal life, married, children, and bought the perfect house. They've done everything right; they are living proof that the American dream is alive and well. You can relate, because your life is just as wonderful. Let's also suppose that several significant events happen to your friend and they turn to you for support.

Your friend calls you one day and explains that she's lost her job. She didn't see it coming. Neither did the other twenty people the company let go. You let her cry on your shoulder, and you sympathize. You wonder, what will she and her husband do for money? You assure her that she'll find another job and eventually it has to get better.

A week later, your friend calls again. Their spouse has just been let go. They're crying and you don't know what to say. She tells you that the job market is bleak; it'll take months to find work. Their unemployment checks will be a third of what they used to take home. Unemployment will take weeks to process, so they've got to survive until it goes through. You listen attentively, feel sorry for them and hope that they find work. You wonder how they'll get by. You don't ask. You don't want to pry into their financial business. You assume they have savings.

You call your friend and get together for coffee a month later. You apologize for not calling sooner, but you've been so busy. She's depressed. It's obvious this has been a difficult time. You can tell by the swelled eyes, she's been crying. You try to relate. You've never been in these circumstances so you don't have much to say. You assure her that things will look up. You mention the trip you're planning to the Caribbean and your friend stares at you blankly. You realize you're being insensitive and change the subject. You can no longer relate to one another. You're growing apart.

A couple months later, you call her, out of obligation. She sobs as she tells you they're going to lose the house. They can no longer afford the mortgage payments so foreclosure is imminent. The shame in her voice is heartbreaking, but what can you do? If they needed help, wouldn't they ask? It's not like you could do anything anyway, you're not made of money.

It's been three months since you've spoken to your old friend. When she picks up the phone, you can hear her choking back tears. She cries inconsolably as she spills the latest bad news, their dog died. You're stunned that so much could change in their lives so quickly. They've lost their jobs and soon their home, now they've lost a member of their family. You wonder why in the hell they bother to get out of bed in the morning. After all, you'd be far too depressed. You ask how the job hunt is going, and they reply solemnly. "There's nothing. We've been everywhere." You email her an animated ecard and go about your day.

Some time goes by, a few of months. You haven't heard from your friend. Come to think of it, you haven't even gotten an email. It's unusual to go this long without speaking. You make a mental note to get in touch. You don't want them to think you don't care. You wonder if they've already moved, and where to?The email goes unanswered. You wonder if maybe he or she is angry at you for not staying in touch. You feel guilty knowing that the usual weekly conversations have dwindled to every few months. It's excruciating talking to her now. Her problems bring you down. There's nothing you can do to help. Maybe they should have tried harder to find work?

When you call, the recording says the number is no longer in service. You wonder what's going on, where they've moved to. You could have asked the last time you spoke, but instead, you rushed them off the phone. Their problems aren't yours. You don't even know what to say anymore.

A few weeks later, you're in the coffee shop drive thru, on your way home after working late. You see your friend standing next to a dumpster across the street. You start to wave, but they don't see you. You watch them lean into the restaurants dumpster and toss things into a trash bag. You wonder what in the hell their doing. You want to stop, you feel an obligation to stop, but she looks awful, like she hasn't bathed in a month. She's alone. You wonder where her husband and kids are. You can't bring yourself to go to her. It's been months since you've spoken and seeing her this way would just be too difficult for you.

You find out sometime later, that the job market is far worse than anyone realized. Thousands of people are out of work. Thousands more are losing their homes. Shelters are full to capacity and there's a tent city growing, under the bridge in Providence and in many other big cities around the country. You can't believe how bad things have gotten.

All over this great nation of ours, people, like you and me are losing their jobs, homes and their security. They are nothing more than a statistic we read about in the paper or hear on the news. Mothers, fathers and children, are living on the streets, under bridges or in abandoned buildings. Homeless shelters are full, food pantries are empty and jobs are scarce.

You had an opportunity to make a difference to your friend, but did you? You showed compassion outwardly, but deep down did you really mean it? Could you have made a difference in her family's outcome? Could one act of kindness have kept them from the despair in which they are now living?

As a society, we are running out of excuses. We are hearing 40 second blips about the homeless on the nightly news, and shaking our heads. "How awful for those people." you say, as you remind Billy to behave or he won't get the game system you promised him.

Far more concerned are we with the trip to Disney, or Cancun. Far more concerned are we with the dinner party we're hosting, or the renovations we're making to the kitchen. Far more concerned are we about ourselves, showing little concern about the poverty that is gripping this country.

We all have an opportunity to help our neighbor. We all have an opportunity to do something out of common decency, whether it be donating to a food pantry, or taking someone in who has nowhere to turn. We all have an opportunity to unite with our brothers and sisters, in their time of despair. We all have an obligation to take off the blinders and pay attention to what's happening around us.

How can you make a difference?