Power in Surrender - Rising Out of Total Desolation

My purpose here is merely to share with the reader, my reflections, which are a true story of my experience of moments of feelings of utter despair, helplessness and hopelessness (total desolation). It is my burning intention that in doing so, that others who may now be, or who may at some future moment, experience a similar state, either personally or through a loved one; will benefit from my experience, and at least be aware of the possibility of arising out of such a state into a sustainable state of perfect peace forever more.

As I now quiet my mind, I reflect upon what I consider to be one of the most important moments of my life. It was a moment born out of "living a life of quiet desperation" ( line I recall from the movie, "Joe and The Volcano"). It was for me a moment borne out of a contemplation and realization that I was never going to be able to do anything or attain anything which would bring me to a point of permanent satisfaction. I was aware of this truth because I could see that despite my numerous and many accomplishments, none of them had any effect upon me other than to give me some other goal to reach for and attain. I saw that this was a never-ending circle which was not likely ever to stop.

This thinking that I was never going to be able to obtain complete satisfaction and peace through any efforts on my part, completely demoralized me. I felt the depths of depression which I feel woefully lacking to fully describe here. It was as though my life had no purpose. It was as though no matter what I would do or attain, I would never be satisfied.Out of this complete desperation came a sincere declaration on my part that I was hopeless in knowing how to live my life and although I was an atheist at the time, I made a plea that if a God did exist that I wanted this God to take over the living of my life henceforth.

For me, this was a moment of total surrender. Although at the time I felt personally powerless and helpless, I was given, in that very moment, a power of such peace and confidence that I lack the words to describe it. I guess I might say that it is and was the God-Power that exists in each of us. In truth, in the present moment, I know that to be exactly the case. And since that moment, I have been committed to living each new moment in a conscious surrender to that Higher Power within me to live my life for me. As I remain constant and true to this commitment, my life is filled with a peace and bliss that is totally awesome to me. And so, I am so very grateful for this Greatest Power which flows out of total surrender and I strongly encourage all my fellow brothers and sisters to consider this great tool for living one's life.