Prague, Indiana Submits Bid for 2048 Summer Olympics

PRAGUE - The mayor of Prague, Indiana announced Thursday that he intends to submit a bid to the US Olympic Committee for the 2048 Summer Games. The decision was passed by the city council late Wednesday night.

"It was a tough decision. But in the end we decided, hey, why not Prague?" Mayor Bill Dobbs told reporters.

The town, pronounced "PRAG-WAY", is home to sixty-seven Hoosiers. It was a tough debate between its ten city council members that ended in the decision to host the future Olympic Games. A phone call to Fred Ames, the local county commissioner, sealed the deal.

"I said, 'I don't know why you had to wake me up in the middle of the night like this. Do whatever damn fool thing you want and let me sleep.' Well, I don't regret a word of it," Ames said.

"Renovations are already under way," Dobbs said. "See here, Old Tom Stevens has started tilling his field in a big oval to get the track ready." Dobbs gestured to a dilapidated cement truck the city has procured. It will be repaired in time to prepare the composite track, Dobbs said.

Stevens, seventy-five, said he didn't mind not being able to see the Olympics if they came to Prague. "Just make sure I'm good and dead first, before you let them Chinamen what put this here hole in my gut in '53 get off the boat."

He grinned and added, "But tell them beach volleyball girls I got some sand for them, anytime they want to inspect my grounds."

Dobbs admits the location of the Olympic pool and natatorium is going to be a sticking point. The city council decided on a tract of land owned by Ricardo Estevez, a legal immigrant from Mexico who speaks no English. Estevez bought the land after winning the Hoosier Lottery early this year.

"We're working on getting a translator. We've drawn pictures and we've even played tapes from Beijing, but Señor Estevez just doesn't seem to understand that we want to bring the Games right here to Prague. I can't understand why not," Dobbs said.

Estevez has yet to be interviewed by Spanish-speaking reporters. The only response he has given to the media thus far is, "El jefe tonto no puede poner su piscina en mi casa." Preliminary translations conclude that Estevez is against the idea of breeding fish on his property, a misconception the city council is working to correct.

Carolyn Dobbs, the mayor's wife, is one of a handful of Prague residents that wants to compete in the 2048 Olympics. She aspires to be a decathlete and has already begun practicing for the event. "We don't keep a javelin, so I've just been using planks off the picket fence. We hardly have a fence left!" Mrs. Dobbs said.

"I'll be somewhere around sixty-five - a lady never reveals, you know - but if the kids are too scared to step up to the plate, well by golly, I'll just have to be the one to get this thing licked!" The Dobbs children, ages five and three, did not comment.

"The town's all in a clamor about it," Mayor Dobbs said. "The level of excitement is just through the roof. I'm getting anywhere from a half dozen calls to calls well into the teens, every day, from people telling me how wonderful it is that we're finally going to put Prague on the map."