Pregnancy and Morning Sickness: Facts for Expecting Mothers

Morning sickness - Just the sound of those four syllables makes my stomach flip-flop. If your pregnancy is anything like mine was, it would have been more accurate to call it morning, afternoon evening and "wake up in the wee hours to vomit" sickness.

All the books I read promised me that this extreme nausea would only last the first trimester. The official explanation is that the early internal chemistry set that turns goo into baby includes progesta-something, blah blah. Basically hormones that make you want to vomit. Ask the experts anything about your pregnancy and they'll answer "Hormones." It's the catch-all explanation for mystery pain, mood swings, food cravings and bizarre dreams. Uh huh. Hormones. But I probably shouldn't scoff at the experts. It was "hormones" that got us into this fix in the first place.

Anyway it's just the first few weeks, right? Wrong! If you're like me, put your feet up and call your therapist. You're in for the 9-month flu. Here's what helps.

Number one: A sympathetic partner. If your partner isn't sympathetic, find a friend who is. Someone who'll answer the phone at 3 am and say "Poor Baby" like she means it. Even if your partner is Mr. Wonderful, always there with a foot rub and a pint of your favorite Haagen Daaz, don't be surprised if you hate his guts. It's hard not to hate someone who is not fat and vomiting.

Number two: Saltine crackers. Yeah, yeah you've heard it all before. But the cracker isn't the trick. It's the zillions of other crackers in the box. The trick to staying not sick is to never let your stomach be empty. Eat a tiny bit of something nearly all the time (every 20 minutes) like nibbling crackers. It is no small feat to put something in your mouth when you are sick to your stomach. Crackers are king because they don't really taste like anything (and therefore nothing offensive) and also you can pretend the baking soda in them is helping. Just like those disgusting baking soda and salt concoctions your mom forced on you when you were young. The "this will either settle your tummy or make you puke and then feel better" cure. Thanks, Mom. The problem with morning sickness sick is that puking doesn't make you feel any better.

Number three: Water. If you're vomiting you need to re-hydrate. Unfortunately water on an empty upset stomach doesn't usually stay down. So crackers first. Or pieces of bread. Avoid greasy foods, anything fatty when you're nauseous. Including -sorry- ice cream or milk. Stomach acid curdles milk. In theory this means sour cream or yogurt should be fine, but sherbet is a safe choice. If you have trouble drinking enough water, chew ice chips. You can buy crushed ice in bags at the supermarket. Or try something with electrolytes like PediaSure. Don't like how it tastes? Make Crystal Light or Kool-Aid or Jell-O using PediaSure instead of water. Buy flavored water. Whatever helps you actually drink it.

The final cure for nausea: A cold, damp washcloth. Press it against the back of your neck when nausea is intense. A really good support person will hold it there while you're leaning over the toilet. (At the same time s/he can hold your hair out of your face. You know when you're puking and s/he's saying "what can I do?" Here it is.) When you're feeling a little better, run the cloth over your face or lie down with the cloth on your face. This method is so effective that I kept two cloths in rotation. One in the freezer. The other rolled like a burrito behind my neck while I read baby books, watched TV or called my friends to hear them say "Poor Baby" in a very convincing tone.