Prenatal Ultrasound Exams Linked to Autism, School Violence
Researchers Fear that "We've Created a Generation of Charlie Mansons"
New Haven, CT:� The prolonged and frequent use of ultrasound on pregnant mice causes brain abnormalities in the developing mouse fetus, Yale School of Medicine researchers report August 7 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Ultrasound Exams in Early Pregnancy Linked to Autism, School Violence
Boston, MA:� Expectant mothers that have ultrasound examinations during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy are much more likely to have autistic children or children that will be prone to violence in their teenage years.
Jeremiah Wassah-Boolphrogg, PhD, Director of Exculpatory Evidence Research at the Ted Kennedy Automobile Buoyancy Evaluation Institute in Boston announced his startling findings during a news conference at the Institute yesterday afternoon.
Citing previously published data from a number clinical research studies, Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg described how his team of scientists discovered this previously unnoticed relationship:
"We were having a working lunch one afternoon when, purely by accident, someone placed an overhead projection transparency that charted the yearly increase in the number of ultrasound exams on top of another transparency that graphed the increasing number of children diagnosed with the psychological criteria for either Asperger's Syndrome or Autism.� As you can imagine, we were shocked to learn that these graphs were identical" Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg said.
"When we looked at the prenatal medical care received by mothers of children that became �school shooters,' we discovered that in every case the shooters' mothers had an ultrasound examination early in the course of their pregnancies.� Without a single exception, none, not one!"
When asked how the incidents of school violence could possibly be related to a single event that had occurred years previously, Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg presented what he termed "the socioeconomic model" of school violence.
"It is an undisputed fact that every school-aged child that used his classmates for target practice came from an upper middle-class Caucasian family unit.� If you look at the children's ages at the time of the shootings, and work back, you find that this social group was much more likely to have had an ultrasound exam in the early to mid 1980s than minority, non-Caucasian mothers" he said.
"This is conclusively proven by the complete absence of minority groups from the roster of children that committed acts of school violence."
According to Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg, this same socioeconomic model also reveals that, although minority children were notoriously under-represented in the subset of children with Autism-type symptoms, the numbers are definitely increasing and will soon reach numerical parity with other social and ethnic groups.
"This again directly correlates with the fact that as ultrasound exams became universally available the number of subsequent diagnoses increased as well."
Speaking with reporters as he waited at a security checkpoint at New York City's LaGuardia Airport Rev. Al Sharpton, president of the world-acclaimed Tawana Brawley Center for Honesty in Media Relations stated that he was "relieved to learn that minority women, particularly single mothers, were finally benefiting from inclusion into mainstream."
When contacted at the national headquarters of the Chicago-based Rainbow Coalition Inc. its founder, Rev. Jessie Jackson issued a "no comment" statement after failing to find words that rhymed with "ultrasound," "autism," or "OB-GYN."
Dr. Wassah-Boolphrogg concluded the press conference with the Federally-mandated "full disclosure statement" in which he informed those present that his research had been funded by a grant from the Colt, Remington, Smith, and Wesson Foundation.
Published by Wayne McDonald
I'm a retired Physician's Assistant with special qualifications in adult & pediatric echocardiography (heart ultrasound) and cardiovascular testing. I'm also working on my master's degree in history. View profile
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34 Comments
Post a CommentI'm a mother of a 15yr. old autistic son. All through school, and life, there has been different ones to say many hurtful things to and about my child. He even had one teacher say he wouldn't make it to middle school! Well, he's a freshman in high school now and falls into the highly intellectual group. You can bearly tell he is austistic, and those that have never met him say they wouldn't know there was anything wrong with him. I'm so tired of people treating our children like they are monsters. They have an ability, not a disability! In ways, they are far more smarter then we are, for sure. I believe the key to getting thru this is thru courage and support. Please, if you ever need a hand, or just a ear to listen, my email is galady32@yahoo.com. Your child may be austic, but they can still be a hero to the world!
Hee-Hee..I wrote an article on prenatal care or paranoia, with similar idea that we like to think we are moe in "control" of things then we actually are. (The article hasn't been published yet)
I thought it was funny. What was NOT funny was that the low-grade morons at ASA didn't do their homework. There is a time and place for satire, even vacuous satire like that we are discussing. And it is the internet. ASA should be appalled at not reading an article carefully and should be apologizing extensively to all the people who were shocked and offended by the article. And yes, I have an autistic son. Article? Amusing, but not terribly funny. ASA? Be ashamed. Be very ashamed. You have lost all legitimacy with me.
Obviously, this article makes a dig at The Mercury Militia, not at autism itself. The author is not poking fun at autism, school shootings or anything other than people who makes wild conclusions about the origins of autism from circumstantial evidence alone. His intention in writing this satire is to point out how ludicrous the mercury-autism connection is.
The ASA looks like a horse's a** for posting a link to this article without reading it first. Shows how reliable and valid their "science" editors are.
I agree that I too was a bit shocked by reading this as it was linked to ASA. One very positive thing has come out of this... so many great and passionate comments by people affected by autism in so many ways (parents, grandparents, etc.). It is nice to know we're not the only ones with these emotions. I think the laugh is on Mr. McDonald (or maybe that's all he intended anyway ???). P.S. My wife and I are the parents of a 4 year old son with autism and a 2 year old "typically developing" child. We hear all of you, loud and clear. Thanks for the read! John
As a mother of a 12 year old Aspie, I must admit that I also laughed at the article. We read so much stuff looking for answers to the "what ifs" that I am just accepting the fact that my son is the most wonderful (but trying)gift God gave us. We should all see some humor sometimes and quit looking for all the people to blame autism on.
I think that the person who wrote this article has a very high level of stupidity and lack of respect. My child is Autistic and happened to be one of the victims of a "shooter" ... You can be sure that one way or the other this person is going to feel the anguish, the fear and the pain we go through every day. Funny ...? Life will show you the real meaning of funny.
Unbelieveable - while I too have a son with Autism - I thiunk the second paragraph spells it out. SOme folks need to get a life folks and laugh. Wayne absolutely great expample of how we in society will believe almost anything "IF" prefaced by fancy titles (personal, professional or organizations). Keep after it.
I am a parent of an autistic child, and I DO have a sense of humor, and had I known this link was going to lead to something humourous and fake right off the bat I'd be Ok with that. My problem is that I do not know this site, have never heard of it, so when I clicked on this link it at first all appeared very legitimate. So then to get a little into the "article" and see it's all just a joke, well yea it's a bit of a jolt, and offensive. At least give the public a little warning. And I have to agree too with the posted that mentioned newly diagnosed parents, I SCOURED the internet, and at the time was crying while doing it, and blaming myself, seeing THIS kind of article THEN would have been awful. I have to ask the author does Autism touch your life at all? The article WAS funny yes, but you might want to be a little more sensitive in what you decide to poke fun at.
In the case of the school shootings why isn't just simply Bad Parenting not involved? In any of the cases, the Parents and Other Adults had no idea what their kids were doing. Does Asperger Syndrome and Autism have to do with bAd Parenting? Where is the satire article on that?