Preparing Your Child in the Wake of School Shootings

How do you comfort your child in the wake of such a horrible tragedy as is a school shooting? How do you send them off to school and convince them that they will be okay? You simply can't. That answer probably isn't easy for any of us to hear, especially for parents and other relatives of school aged children.

As the much older sister of a ten year old boy, I can tell you that it grips my heart to see a child so scared. Even deep in my white bread suburbia, the fear is etched on parent's faces. Last night I sat at my brother's little league baseball game. I saw dozens of children running and playing, and I wondered what these children have been told about school shootings.

Many parents will choose to say nothing, hoping that their child or children will hear nothing about the Virginia Tech shooting. That isn't possible for other parents. My brother, always thirsty for information, has been reading the newspaper and watching the nightly news for about three years.

While he doesn't perfectly understand everything that is going on, he is very aware of one crucial fact. This event could just as easily have happened to him. He was terrified after the last school shooting happened. While he says he has never heard any threats about his school, he is very aware that one could occur at any time.

You can tell some children that it's safer in their school than in other schools, but most won't be fooled. The only thing that you can do is be ready to answer questions with honest, simple answers. Children can often tell when you are holding information back from them. Don't scare them, but don't give them a false sense of security either. Above all, it is important to discourage panic. Find out from your school official about what their plan of action is for a school shooting. Explain to your child what sorts of safety precautions the school has in place.

Explain to them that while things like metal detectors and back pack searches seem like a hindrance, they are really there to keep them safe. Explain to them how to react if an incident occurs. Should they run from the gun? Do they lock themselves in a classroom? What is the best way to avoid being a standout in the crowd? While these things can't make the child anymore safe that they already are, it will let them feel like they are doing something. Eventually the fear will subside.