Preparing for Your Second Child

Many parents say that transitioning from one child to two is harder than the initial transition from having no children to having one. A large part of the difficulty of this change is trying to help your first child cope with the new child that has come into your life. Jealousy, fear, distrust, and other emotions maybe be causing your older child's troubles with accepting the new comer. Luckily there are several things that you can do before hand that will help smooth over some of the problems.

1) Talk, talk, talk. Your older child may be confused and uncertain about what is happening. Talking with him will help him to understand the changes that are occurring, and help prepare him for what will be coming soon. It also helps him to feel that he is still an important part of the family when his thoughts are discussed as well.

2) Share the milestones. Taking your older child with you to doctor appointments can be a great way to build an early bond. Explain to her the images she might see during an ultrasound, let her hear the heartbeat with you. As your new baby grows and develops explain to her how the new baby is like she was, and still is.

3) Gifts. Many parents buy gifts for their children to exchange when a new child is born. Let your older child pick out a gift to welcome his new sibling to the world. At the same time buy a small gift that your older child can receive as a gift from the new baby. This simple gesture can be a huge benefit to helping your older child feel loved.

4) Let them help. Older children often feel left out or pushed aside by the needs of the new baby. Let your older child help out where they can, and thank them for their help. Older children can bring diapers and wipes, find a special toy or blanket, entertain a fusing baby, and many other small things to lend a hand.

5) Give them a baby, too. For boys and girls alike having a baby of their own to care for often distracts them from the neediness of the new baby. Young children love to mimic what their parents and other adults around them are doing, so a simple doll to carry around, feed, and rock can make them feel delighted.

Adding a second child to the home can be fun and frightening at the same time. No matter how well prepared, there will still be times when the older child will feel jealous or put out. Remember that the period of transition is just as stressful for them as it is for you, but with a little patience and time you all will transition smoothly into a happy family.