President Bush Declares a New Enemy of the United States

President Bush has called a press conference at 8:02 this morning to announce a change in the Most Wanted enemy of the United States. "The United States has a new enemy in our war against terror. This man with his supremacist shaved head and radical ideas must be stopped at all costs. We can no longer stand idly by while one man terrorizes our ally, the Chinese government. His call for violent attacks and protests towards the peaceful Chinese government must be stopped by whatever means necessary. Our intelligence has reported that he has weapons of mass destruction and has been known for his irrational often violent acts. We have upgraded this "Dalai Lama" to American enemy #1 and are offering a $1 million dollar reward to the captors of this terrorist."

The international press had several questions for the president.

"Mr President, how do you plan to pay for the reward money, with the US budget already straining to cover the current war?" "The American public needs to remember 9/11. This war on terror can not stop until out citizens are safe. To answer your question, the reward money will be coming from money budgeted for Social Security. My budget advisors and I feel that since this country is not only not in a recession but has such a positive outlook for the future that soon Social Security will no longer be needed."

"Mr. President, what steps are you taking to find this man?" "We have found that this evil man has quite a group of radical and violent followers. Several have been found on US soil. To combat this all men that fit the profile of this terrorist group will be arrested and held for an undisclosed amount of time in our detainment facilities in Guatanamo. These followers are indentified by their trademark shaved heads."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, one thing that the world needs to know is that America will not stand idly by while peace loving democratic governments like China are being terrorized. We will continue this war on terror and we will win."

Authors note: Please do not tackle the Dalai Lama for the reward money, this was a satirical report only. However, If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!