President Obama and the American Dream Machine

President Obama went to a town hall meeting where people were asking him if the American dream is dead. The president looked at his TelePrompter and did not see the answer then he looked up at the ceiling and down at his shiny black shoes and said, "Yes the dream is dead but I did not kill it ....George W. Bush Killed it but I am going to bring it back." The audience looked surprised and they looked at the president then up at the ceiling and down at their own shoes and then they started to wonder.

"Up until today this has been top secret classified information", says the president, "We are working on an American dream machine to turn this country around. We diverted funding from the NASA time machine Program to spend stimulus funding on a machine that creates the American Dream. Over 500 billion dollars went into building the NASA Time Machine and that is why you still see Dick Cheney and Karl Rove walking around Washington DC. The time machine works but the last thing we want to do is bring back the good old days. We are moving into the future with the dream machine."

The audience was speechless. The President continued, "Yes folks I am not pulling your leg the time machine should be dismantled because it is too dangerous because I probably never would have been elected if the previous administration used it more than they did. The dream machine costs half as much and it makes everyone happy. The technology for the time machine came from the aliens. The technology for the American Dream Machine comes from the public employees unions and Karl Marx. Here is how it works..."
The president produces one of those big foam core board court room evidence exhibits with a picture of a complicated looking machine that looks like a walk though airport full body x-ray machine. "We put a billionaire in here and it soaks his money out of him and redistributes the money to the right people who deserve the American Dream. The more billionaires we put in the machine the more American Dream it produces. The fat cat goes in and comes out looking like he has been on a dream diet. We are working on putting whole corporations into the machine. We will be able to put both public and private companies into the machine and afterword they will belong to the government. It is a wonderful machine."

Someone in the audience gets up to ask the president this question, "so it is a redistribution machine but how do you decide who goes in the machine and who does not? It sounds like the exact opposite of the American Dream? How do the people getting a new improved American dream get the dream if they too don't get put into the machine."

"That is more than one question," replies the president "but I am glad you asked --it is a good question. Virtually everyone eventually goes into the dream machine and it reduces everyone to the lowest common economic denominator And the government gets all the excess money and then the people elect their government officials and we decide who deserves the American Dream and who does not. It is that simple. We start with the billionaires and the running the giant corporations though the machine and then we go down the economic ladder till virtually everything belongs to the government and then we can decide what is a fair re-distribution. That is what the American Dream Machine does. Why should someone work for 60 hours a week and get $400,000 a year while a public school teacher only gets $250,000 a year for working 30 hours a week? The American dream machine will fix it anyone will be a fool to work too hard. Americans work too hard and because they work too hard they do too much damage to the environment so the machine
solves more than one problem. Who deserves the American Dream? People who work too hard or public school teachers? We want our teacher to get $400,000 a year working a 20 hour week because that will make our children smarter. Better paid teachers is what makes education possible. The American Dream Machine will work wonders. On my recent trip to Havana I saw how the Cuban dream machine keeps that island nation's environment sustainable- They have a no growth dream come true and the president is always re-elected. That tells us how popular our dream machine will be."

The audience gives the president a great sustained applause and a standing ovation. The next day in the papers the head line is "President unveils American Dream Machine--Dream is Saved." The New York Times laments the demise of the secret NASA time machine program because the reporter muses over the idea of sending a terminator back in time to take out Lee Harvey Oswald before he shoots President Kennedy to Prevent President Johnson from becoming president and starting the Vietnam war. CNN reports that all billionaires except for Ted Turner should be put though the American Dream Machine because Ted has been working on his own American Dream Machine. The Wall Street News headline is "ea Party plans to dust off time machine and trash president's dream machine when elected."