Pre-Teen Wisdom for Parents

What are these "tween" years all about? They are the pre-teen years that include the stages of puberty that can suddenly change that child into a....tween. In between a child and a teen. Puberty may begin at nine years old or can even be prolonged until as late as thirteen and a half. Here are the two questions that every parent needs answered:

Parents: What are the first physical changes?

The first recognizable change may be the growth spurt. This growth spurt can result in three and a half feet a year. Interesting fact: hands, feet and head are the first body parts to grow. Next the arms and legs and lastly the shoulders and torso. Weight will also change along with the height. Weight gain is natural and is key to developing breasts in a young lady and in getting her first menstruation.

You may notice that they need to shower more often. Letting them select their own deodorants and body washes can encourage them to wash more often without an argument. Underarm hair begins to grow as sweat and glands develop that produce oil. Acne is the result of these glands clogging. Encourage them to wash their face twice each day. Change and wash their pillow cases and sheets st least two times a week. This will keep them from laying on oily surfaces and clogging their pores. Bring them to see a dermatologist if you see a problem developing.

Parents: What is up with these mood swings?

Hormones are produced in abundance in these early months and years of puberty. These high levels of hormones can involve mood swings. Your tween child may one day appear withdrawn and moody. It can definitely be a patience tester for parents. Just keep your opinion of your child as optimistic as you can.

Be encouraging about the activities that they are involved in. Give them opportunities to get involved in things that they excel in as this is a very awkward time in their lives and they need to spend time doing things that they feel confident in. If you notice that your child is becoming withdrawn ask them questions and spend time pursuing them. They may act as if they are too cool for you but they desire you to show them how much you love them.

Encourage them daily. Comment on their looks. They need to hear positive comments about the changes that are taking place. If there is no one to comment and encourage them they may become self conscious and self absorbed. Love them through the changes and the moods will swing to and fro but their love for you and their hope for their future will never leave. Offer your understanding. Be objective. Consider that they will be through this season in life and it will be but a memory. Let them be left with a memory of your spending time listening to them more than you talked. The more you listen the more they will begin to open up and share. As they share they will ask you questions. That will be your chance to answer with short, rich in wisdom answers and then go back to listening.

Interesting fact: puberty can last from two to five years. Therefore your child may have completed puberty while others in the same class are still in the midst of puberty. This can seem quite confusing to the kids who are in the process of these physical changes that are embarrassing and dreaded and yet exciting and desired. What a topsy turvy time in their life. Thank God they have you!