Prevent Wedding Disasters: Tips for Dealing with Young Flower Girls

Planning your dream wedding? If you are going to include a flower girl or ring bearer, you know that the potential for issues can pop up, more so than with an all-adult wedding party. If your flower girl is older, say kindergarten age on up, you may not have as much to worry about. But if you have a preschool-aged one, there are some things to keep in mind when planning your event.

Time of Day

If you have day time wedding, you are headed in the right direction. Young children are usually at their best earlier in the day. Post-naptime...even better! If you are having a night wedding, you may want to reconsider using very young children in the wedding. You do not have to plan your wedding service around the children, obviously, but you may want to consider the potential problems.

Recently, my three year old daughter was asked to be the flower girl in her uncle's wedding. We agreed not realizing that the wedding service was not until 7 p.m. And we were two time zones later than they were. So our daughter was in meltdown mode at 9 p.m. her time, just as she was supposed to be walking down the aisle. Even a good nap cannot always put off bedtime.

Wedding Attire

A poofy dress, circlet of flowers, gloves, necklaces, patent leather shoes, et cetera...All this can be truly adorable- in theory. Do remember that these are children and if you doll them up too early, you have the potential for fallen head wreaths, rumpled dresses and more.

First, the very poofy, netting covered dresses are adorable, but impractical. If you do plan on using that delicate, easy-to-tear material, let the flower girl wear ballet type shoes or something soft-soled. My daughter's flower petal filled overskirt was adorable but as soon as her dress shoe heel made contact, we had a tear and a skirt emptying flower petals everywhere.

Also, try to limit accessories. Gloves, flower wreaths, bows, sashes, necklaces, stockings, et cetera are very cute but some young children find it stifling. And I discovered that the flower wreaths (the circlets) are cute on the girls but do not stay put, especially with their thin, baby soft hair. Headband or barrettes work far better.

Second, I recommend not having your flower girl dress too early. Let her stay in play clothes as long as possible. Have portraits taken immediately after she is dressed and after the wedding ceremony, have the flower girl in portraits first. This should cut down on wardrobe malfunctions.

Realistic Expectations

Last but not least, try to keep realistic expectations. With children, something will happen. Even the best behaved children have their moments and most likely it will happen at the wedding! Your wedding day can be stressful but try to relax and let the issues flow off you. One day, you will look back on it and laugh. But if you really want things to go smoothly, you may want to reconsider using children in your wedding party. It is not required that you have flower girls or ring bearers.

Suggestions for Parents

If you have a child who will be a flower girl or ring bearer, you may want to keep a few items on hand to prevent problems:

Crackers or gummy snacks (non-messy snacks)- for those low blood sugar blues

Water (or some light colored liquid that won't stain if spilled) in a spill-free sippy cup

Crayons/Coloring books

Books

Puzzles (or some type of non-rumpling/non-messy activities)

Comb/Brush

Extra bobby pins/safety pins- you'll never know when you'll need them!

A favorite bear or lovey- the familiar toy may comfort the child especially in a new and confusing situation

Moist towelettes

Sweater for the reception hall- some buildings are quite cool and flower girl dresses are usually sleeveless

Enjoy your special day!