Preventing Child Abuse: Say No to Sleepovers

Children and teenagers alike love sleepovers. Almost considered a rite of passage, a sleepover gives youngsters the opportunity to try their wings and to have fun in the relative safety of another family. But ... is it really a safe environment, or a prime opportunity for a child molester to engage in child abuse? Consider these reasons why a slumber party may lead to sexual abuse.

Host parents rarely stay up all night long: Although many adult hosts stay awake until most of the kids are asleep, there are always a few youngsters still wanting to have fun after everyone in the house is slumbering. Lack of supervision gives a prime opportunity for child abuse to occur. Consider the incident reported at AZCentral.com, in which two 13-year-olds from Mountain View, California slipped out of the house during a slumber party, and met two men. The men were later charged with committing "lewd" acts with minors. Given the fact that abuse charges are often plead down, it's possible that sexual abuse was the case. Under different circumstances, that incident could have easily jumped to rape, as well.

Adult predators don't wear name tags: Knowing another family well does not preclude child abuse of a sexual nature. Statistics at ChildHelp.org indicate that, "90% of child sexual abuse victims know the perpetrator in some way...." Pedophiles normally do not declare their sexual proclivity, nor announce their intentions to abuse in advance. There's no way for a parent to know if the family hosting the party may have an adult predator living there, or even have one visiting. A sleepover gives the predator a perfect opportunity, as evidenced in a recent news report telling of a Vermont father charged with drugging a 13-year-old friend of his daughter with a smoothie, and then fondling her.

Sexual experimentation can occur at sleepovers: A quick look at forums and blogs indicates that one of the issues parents are concerned about at sleepovers is sexual experimentation. This may happen between children of the same gender, or different gender. Although the host parents might not be predators, it's possible some sleepover attendees may be abused by older children in the host family. Guests may also feel peer pressure from other attendees to engage in sexual activity that amounts to abuse for one or more of the sleepover participants.

Perhaps in an earlier decade, slumber parties were a rite of passage. However, in today's world a child may find that a sleepover ends up being his/her induction into the terrifying world of child sexual abuse. Mom/Dad might wish to reconsider the thought that sleepovers are innocent fun and think about saying no due to the potential for sexual abuse. Instead, a wise parent might try other alternatives such as "Late Night" where the kids stay late, have fun, but go home to their own beds.

Sources:
Associated Press staff writers, "No Sleepovers! Many Parents Ban Tween Ritual," Today.com
Robyn Margulis, "Teen Girls and Sleepovers Go Hand in Hand," PressOfAtlanticCity.com
Mothering.com Forum

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