Princess Obsession: A Royal Handbook

Is your daughter a little princess? It starts innocently enough with a storybook or movie, but can quickly spiral out of control. Everything from dolls to clothing, books, diapers and dishes are emblazoned with princesses.

The continuous storm of new products being introduced address not only the pretty pink tiara wearing crowd, but the soccer playing tom boy type princesses as well. If your daughter is easily charmed by the products or if she is unwilling to budge from her royal perch, the following tips can help you handle a princess obsession.

Be aware. Keep on top of the latest in children's media. Know who your child is idolizing and in turn, what they are being influenced by. After going back to my friend's house after a dinner, I was shocked to see her seven year old daughter in front of "her show." My friend said, "Oh, it's just a princess show." Now I would not consider, "Charmed" a good show for first grader, but standards are different in every home. Look into the messages behind the animated princesses. Ask your daughter her thoughts on the stories. You may be very surprised to discover what they actually got out of full-length animated feature. Sometimes it is nothing more than, her hair is so pretty.

Just say no. As a parent you are in control. It may not feel like it at times, but you do have the power and the right to say no. If your daughter wants to watch a princess DVD five times in a row, say no. If they demand a new wardrobe based on a characters favorite color, say no. While I let my daughter pretend she was a princess, it was not in the royal budget to supply a new wardrobe. Dress up is more fun when they use their imagination.

Help her question the media. Give your daughter the skills necessary to question what she is being told by the media. By default, my kids learned to think twice about what they asked for, mainly because I did not have the funds to fulfill their whims. My questioning led to their questioning and a more discerning approach to advertising. Help her pick out what it is exactly she likes the most about a character or celebrity. Most likely it is not because their face is on a lunch box.

Don't worry so much. With that said, don't worry so much. Obsessions are normal. My daughter wore a tutu over all her outfits when she was a preschooler and started wearing a crown at an early age. This did not damage her chances of making friends, finding a real job or doing well in school. In fact, her ability to not care what others thought of her silly outfits helped develop a strong sense of confidence in who she is. So, don't worry what the neighbors think when your little girl is twirling through the grocery store in a spinny skirt that doesn't match her outfit.

Expand the story. Have fun with a princess obsession. Help your child envision "the rest of the story." Maybe the princess gets bored and decides to go to school to be a doctor, or she rescues a village. One thing I will say about the current crop of princess movies is that the writers do seem to add in a lot more self-sufficiency in the princesses.

More to life. Even if your daughter only wants to play princess, expand her horizons. You can even call it a royal outing if there is no getting around the fact that she "is" Cinderella. Take Cinderella to the woods for a hike, let her wear her tiara with boots. Visit a working farm, make crafts, anything goes. Getting stuck on playing princess can be simply because she does not know what else to do.

Celebrate differences. Point out the differences in the princesses alone. Disney has covered many ethnicity's, but you can go beyond that. Talk about what makes your daughter just like her friends and what makes her different. Help her fully embrace the fact that she likes one thing and her friends like something else.

Be her own princess. My daughter loves Rapunzel's long, blond hair and was very upset that her own slow-growing curly hair was not as pretty. Her frustration was not going to have a happily ever after ending unless we came up with something else. We started talking about the beautiful curly haired princess that was Rapunzel's best friend in the whole world. The long-haired beauty queen was even envious of her friend's curly hair, but this wise princess told her that was silly. She told Rapunzel she should be proud of who she is.

Use it to your advantage, and hers. When your daughter is obsessed with princesses, you can easily introduce the importance of good posture and proper hygiene. Help her focus on learning by declaring regular royal tutoring sessions and make it a point to talk about all the responsibilities a princess may have, then build on this by including volunteering into your daughters life. She could gather toys for a hospital play room, or visit a nursing home with you dressed in her fanciest princess costume.


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