Princesses in Our Midst

Perhaps some of you have read Martha Irvine's article in the Associated Press last month, regarding the 'princess syndrome' prevalent in today's young families. As the mother of a young daughter, I am constantly reminded of this commercialized ploy directed at our little girls and their sense of self-assurance, and I'm daily debating how much is too much.

On the one hand, I am all for encouraging creativity in our children. On the other, I often worry. To borrow a line from Krasikov, I don't want my children living too long inside a fantasyland of their own hopefulness. It's good to foster their dreams, some of my closest friends say. And I agree, I'm a dreamer myself. Having dreams, having goals, is necessary in any aspect of one's life, starting from potty training. But, so often, I see people trapped in them, without an apparent way out.

I want my children to be problem solvers. Somehow they need to know that things don't come to those who wish for them, but to those who work for them. Work and reality are a requirement for success.

Fairy tales are fun to read, but in real life the beast remains a beast, while you may find that Prince Charming had been wearing a mask all along. Diva behavior and attitudes of entitlement, both direct results of the current popular trend of constant praise and scarce criticism may damage our daughters as they become adults and believe that no one and nothing is good enough for them. I see such girls daily. At the playground, at the grocery store, and in the community. We need to take responsibility, because otherwise, we will raise the worst sort of snobs: girls enslaved to an unrealistic image of themselves and of womanhood; not in the least aware that they are slightly delusional. They'll be unsatisfied as young women, as wives, and as mothers. Always expecting something more, and baffled and depressed when what they expect does not materialize.

Since I do not have a TV in my house, and the Nintendo DS and PSP are relegated to the weekend, I have an easier time than most in directing my children's formative brains in the right direction of imaginative play. I make sure they're aware that reality and fantasy are two different ends of an elastic string, and although they may come in contact with each other, no way are they to be confused.