Prison Wives: What to Do If Your Husband is in Prison

Thousands of prisoners are put into, and let out of, prisons every day. Your husband, boyfriend or lover could be serving long-term or short-term. They might be taking it hard, or putting up a good front so that you don't see the stress, or they might be sailing through the system quickly. Whatever your situation, I know that you are probably taking it pretty hard yourself. If someone you have a long-term or permanent relationship with is in prison, here are some helpful hints for staying strong.

Letters. I'm not talking about one letter a month. I'm talking about two or three letters a week. You must put yourself in their position to understand how completely lonely they are and how high the stress is when you're in there. No color, no friends, no positive relationships, no freedom, no life. Buy some brightly colored stationary or computer paper and write consistent, 6 or 7 page letters to your loved one, making them feel loved, appreciated and supported. This, in turn, will help you to feel that you're making a difference in their situation, which you are.

Pictures. No matter what level of incarceration status they are, you will probably be allowed to send them pictures. Learn what is and is not allowed by the state Department of Corrections for the photographs, and dress just over the nudity limit. Make sure you have a variety of sexy pictures to send them, and if they are a non-romantic family member, see if you can send them a subscription to Playboy, or at least to Maxim.

Faithfulness. Get out your vibrators, ladies, for you will be doing a lot of self service until your man gets out! Many men will come to terms with the idea of allowing their women to "take care of their needs" as long as they stay in a relationship with them. However, if you know anything about the masculine capability of being possessive, you know that this is simply not good for them and will, in the end, be too stressful for you to handle. Limit your time with your regular guy friends to take away temptation and start getting used to being faithful without the touch.

Education. One of the best ways to make your problems smaller is to grow yourself bigger. Work on growing yourself by continuing your education. Check out plenty of books from your local library, watch educational documentaries, and take some college courses. You'll be surprised how quickly you can tolerate large problems like not having your man in your life when you're working on improving yourself.

Cheer up, ladies. This will be a long, hard road, but one that is worth traveling. Send your man good books to read and educational magazines. Love him and care for him and try to visit him at least once a month, if at all possible. I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but remember: He's YOUR man, and nobody else's, so take good care of him.