Love Letters. Men are in a constant struggle for retaining their masculine roles in this society. Men were designed and crafted to be protectors, guardians, providers and lovers. Their roles have been highly decimated by societal structure. They are competed against as if the role of women is no longer necessary or crucial to our economy. Fulfill the role of a traditional woman by uplifting and supporting your prince and king with long, sensual, and happy love letters. Do not half-ass this process. Be the support for him, be his comfort, be his encouragement. In this society, encouragement is highly under-valued, but the spirit needs feeding just as much as the body.
Phone calls. Keep your love life alive with lots of healthy phone sex. This is, of course, not the same as having regular sex, but it does mean that you still value a natural intimate life with his body and his character. This not only satisfies his sexual needs in part, but it also makes him feel loved and appreciated.
Do not discuss finances or money over the phone. Be smart about this. Do not mail or phone information concerning bank accounts, credit lines or other forms of payment to your inmate. The reason why is that other inmates are around and have access to this information. Even if your husband or boyfriend is trustworthy, their cellmates and the other prisoners are not. Do not put yourself in the position of suffering financial loss or risk because of irresponsible actions.
Do not be selfish. One of the many complaints that can come from wives and girlfriends at this stage is, "He does not take care of me anymore. He should not have ended up in jail. This is ridiculous. I am left without any resources." Actually, between the two of you, you are left with a lot more resources than he is. The difference will be in how you use those resources. Ignoring the need to get help, stay emotionally healthy and grow as a person will leave you feeling empty, useless and dissatisfied. If you choose to stay in the relationship, and you always have the choice to opt-out, then you must also choose to keep yourself well-developed. Otherwise, both of you will suffer.
When keeping the romance alive with your prison inmate, remember that they are not monsters. They are basic humans, just like you, and they have the same weaknesses, fears, doubts and paranoia. Keep this in mind when they are complaining or suffering. Men never forget a kind and understanding ear, and your sympathy and warmth and love will be returned ten-fold.
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Published by Rita Jan
It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins. ~Chinese Proverb View profile
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