Prize Picking at the Golf Tournament

I was at a golf tournament recently and, like so many industry tournaments these days, there was an overflowing prize table at the end. Rather than pull people's names, one at a time, and give them a prize, the organizers gave everyone a numbered ticket. When your number was called, you got to go up to the table and had 15 seconds to choose your "prize".

As so often occurs at these things, my name was in the bottom third of the barrel. Imagine my surprise when I got up there and found an IPod sitting amongst the remaining prizes. There were also half a dozen or so $50 gift certificates.

What amazed me was that a number of people had walked away from the table carrying a golf hat and a sleeve of balls. Clearly, and to my benefit, they did not truly understand the finer points of the "self-serve" prize table.

The guiding principal, when faced with one of these tables, is, remarkably, the same as when eating at a Chinese Food Buffet...don't eat the rice.

You can make rice in the comfort of your own home, in about 20 minutes, and at a cost of about 32 cents. Why, then, would you stuff yourself with it at a $12.99 buffet? Clearly, the appropriate approach is to gorge yourself on ginger beef, palace chicken, dim sum and whatever seafood they may be offering, while edging your way around the boiled rice while holding out your chopsticks in a cross formation. In the same vein, Won Ton soup should, for the experienced buffet eater, contain no actual broth. The bowl should be filled, to the top, with expensive won tons, and the weak, and obviously very cheap, chicken broth should be left for whomever gets there last.

In the same manner, when faced with the "self-serve" prize table, one should activate one's "Price is Right" module immediately upon rising from one's chair. One's prize radar should be set so that one is able to scan the table and, within the 15 allotted seconds, establish the relative value of all of the remaining prizes. One should then snag the most expensive prize on the table, irrespective of whether or not one actually needs or wants the prize. (If time allows, it is acceptable to choose a prize that one actually wants, if it is in the top tenth percentile, price-wise.)

Clearly, one should avoid the following prize-snagging errors:

Do not choose a golf shirt, no matter how nice it is, if it was donated by a competitor and has their logo stitched all over it. Unless, of course, you need something to wear while changing the oil in the family car.

Do not choose golf clubs, golf hats, or golf gloves if you only golf three times a year in industry tournaments. Having all that equipment accumulating dust in your garage will not turn you into a golfer. If you only golf three times a year, and your swing tends more toward the "George Lopez" style than the "Nancy Lopez" style, golf balls may be an acceptable choice.

I like the change to the "self-serve" prize table, as I am now less likely to win oil-stained competitors' shirts in a ladies' size medium. And, yes, I snagged the IPod.