Problems Created by Living Together Before Marriage

Many adults view cohabitation as a viable option to replace or precede marriage. Although much of society no longer sees any moral problem with this arrangement, other problems can present themselves. Even if the cohabitation is a positive experience, it can lead to difficulties if and when a marriage occurs.

Familiarity breeds contempt.

When adults choose to live together before marriage, few, if any, binding agreements lock them into the relationship. Most newlyweds can easily attest to the relationship problems that do not appear until after the couple begins sharing living quarters and budgets. As the adjustment phase of living together, walking away from the arrangement can quickly become an easy decision without the marriage contract. Marriage vows usually give a couple a reason to try a little harder to make the relationship work.

The possibility of financial problems is increased.

Whether or not both marriage partners sign off for financial obligations, both are committed to them through the marriage contract. Generally, this means if a partner walks away, he or she still must share in any financial repercussions. When a couple lives together without marriage, items like leases (cars, houses, and apartments)and payments on debt, can be left to be the responsibility of only one partner. While lawsuits may be used to sue for damages, a bankruptcy can be needed before the problem can be resolved. If a house or car is purchased in only one partner's name, the weaker partner can end up without transportation and homeless.

Living together frequently occurs too early in the relationship.

Finances, opportunities for carnal encounters, and need of living space may entice a couple to share living arrangements much sooner than a marriage agreement. This all adds up to the fact that adults will usually commit to cohabitation much sooner than committing to marriage because it requires less effort initially. Too often, there can be serious potential hazards by rushing the act of living together. Spousal and child abusers can become your bed mate before you have time to learn about their past. The same is true of those with addictive or compulsive behavior issues. By the time a problem can be identified, it may be too late.

Living together will rob you of the pleasure of discovery during the first weeks of the marriage.

Many times it is the honeymoon period where excitement and infatuation is high that allows couples the chance to make needed adjustments to help them cope with the more difficult times to follow. Living together can erase the possibility of this time where serious issues can be resolved. The absence of a true honeymoon period only serves to amplify the differences between the partners.