Problems Faced by Male Victims of Abuse and Sexual Assault

All victims of abuse and sexual assault face difficulties finding help and support. They often deal with victim blaming, people telling them that the perpetrator's behavior was their responsibility to control. Male victims of abuse and sexual assault face a different set of problems than female victims because of societal prejudices and stereotypes about masculinity and male sexual behavior.

One common stereotype about men is that they always want sex, and that for them sex rarely, if ever, has an emotional component. Female victims of sexual assault face accusations that if they were dressed a certain way that proves they wanted sex, or that they consented to sex by letting a man buy them a drink or by consenting to a different sexual act. Male victims of sexual assault face similar accusations, but these are compounded by the fact that in society's stereotypical model of masculinity, unlike the model of femininity, for a man to refuse sex is either unmanly or simply impossible.

This problem is also compounded by the fact that sexual arousal is often used as a proxy for, or evidence of, consent to sexual acts. Victims of sexual assault often feel tremendous guilt over any sexual arousal they may have experienced, because society takes this as proof that the victim really wanted the assault or enjoyed it emotionally, rather than just experiencing an involuntary physical reaction. These feelings of guilt can be worse for men because it is impossible for a man to have sexual intercourse without being sexually aroused. The legal definitions of rape and sexual assault, which are steeped in these prejudices, victimize men who were sexually assaulted by women, because rape is defined as sexual penetration, and therefore a woman who forcibly has vaginal intercourse with a man cannot be charged with raping him. There is also a greater tendency for both society and the law to excuse female perpetrators or to view male victims, even if they are underage, as somehow "lucky."

When a man is sexually assaulted by another man, homophobia plays heavily into the victim blaming. The victim may feel uncomfortable coming forward because he could be accused of being homosexual himself. There is also the fact that male on male rape is at least somewhat acceptable in society; even people who are vocally against rape and victim blaming often see no problem with joking about prison rape or holding it up as an acceptable punishment for male criminals.

Because of these prejudices and stereotypes, it is difficult for male victims of abuse and sexual assault to find support. Men in abusive relationships may have a hard time seeing their situation as abusive at all, perhaps instead blaming themselves for not being "manly" enough. Most resources for abuse and sexual assault are geared towards women, and some deny male victimhood altogether, viewing abuse and sexual assault as inherently misogynistic acts used to control women, a definition that does not account for male victims or female perpetrators.

Society as a whole must recognize that anyone can be a victim of abuse or sexual assault. We should not blame male victims for not being "masculine" enough or assume that they cannot be assaulted because they always want sex; and neither should we excuse male perpetrators based on the same tired stereotypes of masculinity. All victims need help and support, regardless of their gender or circumstances.