Product Review of Sparks, a Malt Beverage and Energy Drink Combination

It was bound to happen eventually. Ever since the craze hit the bars of mixing Jagermeister and Red Bull as a shot, I was wondering when someone would have the bright idea of actually trying to market a similar product in stores. I saw it first appear a couple of years ago, but now it has firmly grown into its niche market offering three different styles of drink. One is a "light," which comes in a blue can. One is the regular Sparks, which is orange, and then there is the super-high black label Sparks which boasts a 7% alcohol content. That's right, 7%. Most beer is around 4-5%, and wine is around 13%. The regular Sparks is only 6%. This stuff will wake you up and mess you up all at the same time. No more having to drink coffee after your night out, you'll be alert, you just might not have the motor skills to drive home.

Most of the energy drinks, such as Red Bull, don't taste all too good. The high-octane mixture of caffeine, guarana, taurine and whatever else they put in that stuff isn't really the most appealing thing to drink. Personally I'd rather gulp down a couple of espresso shots rather than a Red Bull, but its popularity hasn't really waned in the years that its been available. The same goes for Sparks. Whatever Sparks puts in there for the energy side of their drink tastes orangey and acidic, and I would imagine that if you had more than two of them it might really eat up your stomach. Two being the most Sparks I've had in one sitting. With that being said, the black label Sparks actually tastes better than the regular Sparks. I'm thinking that the added malt beverage probably thins out the energy concoction and makes it less, well, gasoline-like.

And Sparks isn't cheap either. It's around a buck and a half per 16 oz container. Your girlfriend wants to go out on the town, but you're feeling a little droopy, pound one of these babies down and you'll be good to go. You'll have a head-start even. Hell, give one to your girlfriend and she'll be alert and drunk, maybe you won't even go out, if you know what I mean.

I was trying to think up some slogans that they might use. Here are a few. Get Sparked. Sparks, keep your edge, but lose your cool. Sparks, for the little John Belushi in you. Sparks, yes, it's legal. Sparks, wired not tired. Sparks, everyone's doing it. Sparks it up, dude.

If you like to be drunk and awake, you may want to buy a Sparks. It's worth trying out anyway.