Product Review: Worst Dissolving Teeth Whitening Strips in the World
Caveat Emptor!
Lornamead Brands, Incorporated owns the "Natural White" DSolve registration and trademark. It is distributed under store brand names, like Kroger. The particular teeth whitening dissolving strips I used carried the Kroger quality guarantee. I fully intend to cash in on that guarantee.
I have never challenged a company on their guarantee before. The box says if I'm "not fully satisfied with this product, return it for a refund or replacement." I'll have a little cash in hand in a few minutes, after I finish spreading the word about this big waste of, well, $6 bucks. (I digress.)
Kroger Dissolving Whitening Strips are supposed to:
· "Conveniently" whiten and refresh my teeth "&" freshen my breath..."anytime, anywhere.
· Dissolve completely leaving "no messy residue & no plastic film to discard.
· Have a fresh vanilla mint flavor.
· Contain an anti-tarter agent.
· One-size strip accommodates both upper and lower teeth.
It is supposed to be as simple as "carefully" opening the pouch and removing the whitening strip. I was then to "peel strip away from backing and apply on [my] teeth (the side against the plastic should be applied against teeth). Then, magically the "strip will dissolve completely in 5-7 minutes."
It sounds so refreshing and easy. Besides, my wonderful husband saved $2 bucks buying generic. It appears to be a win-win situation. I didn't think it would take more than 8 - 10 minutes.
Thirty minutes later, I have decided that this is the worst product I have ever used. Please, take me literally. I have found this to be the product that, proverbially, "could make a preacher's wife cuss." It did.
I do not consider any product that requires my opening five packages "convenient." I certainly could not use this product "anytime, anywhere." I don't have thirty minutes to spare all the time and everywhere. I couldn't even open the product "carefully," despite the tear-strip. I pulled and tugged, and despite the danger of harming los dentes I wanted to whiten, I placed the metal packlette between my teeth and yanked. After retrieving two eye teeth from the floor, I went to get the scissors. ..Well, I did get the scissors.
I finally reached the whitening strips, which leave "no messy residue & no plastic film to discard." Simply removing one strip, which allegedly would treat both upper and lower teeth, proved to be a feat. Five packages later. I had bits and pieces scraped from five strips, leaving the majority of the film on the card to discard.
The "fresh vanilla mint flavor" was indescribable, but I will try. It tasted like a freshly unpackaged vinly shower curtain, with a hint of minty freshness. As I held my mouth in the unavoidable sticky-goo on my teeth position for 5-7 minutes waiting impatiently for the mess to dissolve, my son came in and observed the mess dangling from my mouth and questioned whether I had my rabies vaccination.
Roughly 8 minutes later (no, I'm not even giving this product the benefit of the doubt on this point.), the viscous slaver disappeared.
I made a beeline for the computer, and now, I'm off to get my six dollars back and buy some Crest whitening strips, gel, or shoe polish. Anything is better than Kroger Dissolving Whtening Strips.
Caveat Emptor!
Published by Wendy Dawn
Wendy Dawn enjoys research and writing on various topics. Her areas of professional expertise include history, teaching, and fitness. Wendy's passions include health, fitness, wellness, and weight loss. She... View profile
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17 Comments
Post a CommentJust tried those and after destroying 6 I looked on google for help :) This is what I find.
I have never been so insulted buying this product. I have very limited funds and went out this week and spent $24.00 on a box of these useless strips, I might as well taken my money and just thrown in in the garbage. These strips are impossibe to remove from their backing, if you are lucky you might have enough strip left for one tooth. Out of the 20 packets that came in the box I have now thrown out 8 them as they get distroyed trying to take them off the backing. This company should be sued and allpeople who have thrown away their hard earned money on this horrible wrongly advertised product should be re-imbursed.
It's totally bogus.
I've used these a few times. As somebody who earns a living performing on a stage, white teeth are a requirement, and I've found these work very well for my needs.
Yes, they can be difficult to take off of the backing, but that's the only downside I've noticed. The taste could only be described as 'pleasant', if one were being honest.
And I didn't find the 'review' very entertaining either... but I suppose that would be subjective. It's just clear to me that the author's goal was not to provide an honest review of the product, but instead a vitriolic screed, chock full of hyperbole and flat out lies.
At the very least, I suggest you take it with a grain of salt, especially seeing as how the author's reading comprehension wasn't adept enough to properly understand the instructions (concerning using 'one' strip for both top and bottom teeth... ha), instructions which were written so as to be easily understood by 5th graders.
I agree with the article. I recently bought these and it was a complete waste of money. The strips are very difficult to remove from their backing. They either tear or they come off with paper attached which makes them useless. The taste is horrible. Get the Listerine product instead.
Yeah, I have to agree with most of the commenters.... they were fine! I actually preferred them as well, to all the other strips that a) you have to wear longer and b) "slide all around" (as a previous poster mentioned) instead of staying nicely in place.
I only had to open the box and then the 'packet' containing the strips, which is exactly like every other brand (and I've used plenty!), so I'm not sure what you're referring to with several packages. Maybe an older version? On a similar note, mine peeled off the backing just fine as well. Could yours have possibly been old?
Once on, the flavor wasn't great - but none of these products are. There was a bit of "goo" that I could have done without, but again ... what whitening product doesn't cause that (or at least excess saliva/foaming)?
I think you're a very funny writer, but I have no idea how you had such an awful experience with a product I think is just fine, and did none of the things you described (so well! :)
I just tried these for the first time and they were fine! They were a little annoying the first couple of minutes but its all totally gone now and my mouth feels fresh!
I completely disagree with you also, I really needed a change and I got one when i tried these. I personally think the lady who wrote this is truely sycho!! This product works really well, I was pretty hesitant to try them because a lot of people say that they dont really work but they did for me. So this lady needs to go to a sych ward or something. Something is truely not right with what she said!
Im pretty sure they didn't mean one strip coveres bottom and top. they are just a one size, so one strip can be worn on either top or bottom.
Well, considering I have one on my teeth in my mouth right now, I'd have to say I completely disagree with your review. The strips are a little hard to take off the backing, and that is about the only problem with them. They taste way better than the chemical Colgate/Crest strips, and unlike those strips, these actually stay stuck to your teeth and they don't slide around unleashing disgusting goo all over your gums! And for the price, you can't go wrong. Seriously, I would buy these INSTEAD of Colgate/Crest gel/strips.
You are SOOOOOOOOOOO right. They are awful!