Professional Dating/Relationship Advice: Want to Know Why Your Man is Avoiding You?

One of the most common things I am asked everyday is, "Why isn't he calling me back, he won't talk to me at all"?

One thing that all women need to understand and accept are the differences men and women have. First of all, women are gossip queens. It is what we do. If we are sad, happy, in love, excited, furious, whatever it may be, we talk about it. We call all our girlfriends and tell them all that is going on.

The mistake that 85% of women make, is thinking that men do the same. Wrong! Men do not gossip nor do they like to share their personal struggles with their partners, let alone their friends. Men hide out, shut down and need space.

I am going to share with you, how to get through when your man shuts down on you. The catch? You have to follow it religiously step by step. You can't make your own rules or only use it when you want to. If you follow what I am telling you, it will work in your favor.

Everyday I am faced to tell my clients what is the hardest for them. Give your man the space he is requesting. It does not matter if it is for the right reasons or the wrong. It is what it is. When your man is there and attentive and then distant and not interested, these are his first signals. These are the red flags that you need to watch. When your man starts springing away then bouncing back, those are signs that he has some things going on. They could be good or bad things that have to do with you or not do with you. Either way, these are signs that there are things going on in his life that are causing him to be there one minute and then gone the next.

Usually, you will feel dismissed when he does this. Don't. It isn't personal and it isn't specifically directed to you. It is how a man handles things that are going on in his life. Remember, they don't "talk" about their issues. A man will talk when he has already come up with a way to fix it or when he realizes that he needs your help. Until then, you need to allow him some space.

If you try to pry the problem out of him or start making assumptions, you are going to get a result that you won't be happy with. A man does not react very well when we make him feel less a man. Though it is not your intentions, that is how he will take it. Again., these are our differences.

If you feel that your man is changing all of a sudden and acting close then distant and is shutting down. Give him space. Let him know that you are confident enough that he can fix whatever is going on. Don't ask him what is wrong because this will make him feel like you don't have faith that he can make things right. Don't offer to help because you will make him feel less a man. If he needs your help, he will come to you. Trust me!

Allow him space. What do I mean by space? Don't call him, don't nag him, don't pressure him, don't make him feel like he is doing something wrong. Just give him some space to think. Literally, that is what he will do. Let him come to you. When he does, and he will, assure him that you understand and that you are there if he needs you and leave it alone. Do not go any further. You can hold a natural conversation but be careful, choose your words. One wrong thing and your man will go into hide out and could shut down. Once that happens, he avoids your calls and contact all together.

When a man has things on his mind, is stressed out or has things going on, he needs space to think. He needs to figure it out on his own. The last thing a man wants is to have his women try to fix it for him or offer her suggestions. This confuses him and makes him feel less a man because he didn't do it on his own. If you put too much pressure on your man while he is stressed out, he is going to feel overwhelmed and pressured and I promise you, he will go into hiding. There is never a time frame on this. Some stay for hours and I have had some stay for weeks, even months.

Don't let it go that far. Once you notice that he is side tracked and seems to have something going on, allow him space. Don't try to get him to your house for dinner or out on the town this Saturday, leave him be. Let him come to you when he is ready. This will assure that he is ready to talk and your patience will open the door to communication. A man WILL NOT communicate well under stress and pressure.

When he does come to you make sure that you are taking responsibility for your own feelings. Simple statements like, "I really "need" to talk to you, I had a bad day and "want" to share it with you". Use words that put the responsibility on you and not him. Don't attack him with how it is his fault you are so stressed out and confused. Just say, "I am confused and really need to talk to you, can we talk"? This takes the pressure off him and opens him up for communication. This will make him feel that you just need to talk and don't need him to fix something or give you an answer right then, just listen. Though this isn't always easy to do as you may feel it trully is his fault, to get what you want, you will need to know and accept their differences. If you want to fully get what you want out of this relationship then you need to accept this and follow it, otherwise, you will get a closed door.

Open the doors to communication with your man and you will get what you want out of the relationship. It isn't always easy to do but it is easier to work at when you are getting something out of it. Remember, if you follow this every time the whole time, it will benefit in your favor. You will have a healthy open relationship. You can't have this without communication. If you don't follow this, then you will wonder why your man isn't talking to you today, tomorrow and next week. You will not get what you want if you don't accept our differences.

Though these proven techniques work everyday for my clients, it is up to you to use and apply them. You have the choice to change the patterns that are not working for you, so that they do work for you, or continue the old patterns that never get you what you want and leave you emotional and confused. The choice is yours.

I look forward to writing my next relationship tip soon!