Profile of a Predator: Danger Signs and Red Flags

There is something deeper, something much more significant than the obvious; and to gain a clear picture of one who Victimizes, it is necessary to bypass the vagueness of feelings such as violation and fear, and instead focus directly on his first and most consistent step-- that a predator begins taking power in his victim's life by systematically stripping her of her rights. This step is most concise to his point-- for what surer way to disarm a potential victim of her ability to object to his actions than when his actions are put into motion without her awareness? One is stripped of her right to object to being watched, observed, monitored, when she is unaware that any of it is taking place, unaware that the individual even exists. And in the words of one specific stalker: "Secrecy is the venue of a Perpetrator."

A predator seeks Power; everything is a means to that end. As an animal focusing on its prey, one does so by weakening his target; and with enough experience, he has little difficulty "sniffing out" his prospective victim's weak spots, as well as utilizing common tactics such as terrorizing, isolating, creating chaos, and attempting to promote dependency.

One of the most important danger signs is an individual who expresses abnormal obsessions; it is a "red flag" when one is fixated on subjects of violence-- murder, rape, sexual abuse-- not only because it shows a warped mind-set , but if he discovers his victim has been on the receiving-end of violence in the past, a sexual predator will use this information to destroy her credibility. This cannot be stressed too strongly: if someone is fascinated by your past traumas of rape or incest, he is almost certainly setting you up to be a "sitting duck" for his own unwelcome advances, using old trauma as a convenient "cover" for his actions-- to claim that he has done no wrong, that you were only having "flashbacks," reacting to someone or something in your "past."

Intrusion may or may not be gradual; it's as if he "crawls into your very bones." A predator, ever seeking power and control, draws the line and moves the line. Intrusion: when you can no longer say "can," when you can no longer say "mine," for the personal attachment to those words has been violated. There is little left that you "can" do, for it's as if his presence is everywhere, monitoring your every move, as your world becomes smaller and your steps become shorter. And everything you once cherished and held as your own-- your life, home, family, sense of self and identity-- the word "mine" no longer holds its meaning.

When a predator has reached into the depths of your life, he may gain further power-- control-- by attempting to create dependency through isolation and terrorizing. He may publicly destroy your reputation and "play" people against each other in order to eliminate contacts and relationships from your life. After all, if there is no one left in your life who believes in you and everyone thinks the worst, who remains in your world for you to turn to for help?

First and foremost, a predator fully believes that he and he alone has "rights"-- and his "rights" are gained by taking away yours by whatever means he can concoct. You will see, to one degree or another, his violent streak, yet others likely will not; his Jekyll & Hyde routine is his ace-in-the-hole, for it makes his game "your word against his," and after he has shrunken your world to Zero he will tell you: *smirk* "They'll say you are delusional."