Project Runway: Now in Its Fifth - and Absolutely Worst - Season Yet

Bravo's hit reality series "Project Runway" has entered its fifth season, which is also its last on the network. (It moves on to AMC in 2009, assuming it's not cancelled before then.) No one has been a bigger fan of this show, I like to think, than I. No one has been more disappointed than I in the season so far. And the future for the current season is looking pretty darned bleak. After this current season, Project Runway moves not only to AMC but also to Los Angeles. Part of the show's charm has, at least for me, always been the city of New York itself. The city is so vibrant, so sophisticated at many differing levels. There's always something new and cutting edge in New York, and that's why it's always been the perfect home base for a show about designers. One of its biggest 'stars' has been the Bryant Park Fashion Week Runway Show, the grand finale to a season where the three finalists show their work. It was the fitting end to a show based upon fashion.

But enough about the future of Project Runway. Its current state of affairs is, frankly, both dull and flat. Let's start with this year's contestants. They are certainly a diverse group, which would make you think that each of them would bring something different and fresh to the proverbial table. We have two African American women, an African American man, your token tough (and old!) biker chick, Stella, a bleached blond California surfer dude lookalike whose catch phrase is - wait, are you sitting down? - 'girliscious'. We may have all been pretty sick of hearing that elfin Christian's high-pitched squeals of 'Fierce!' last season, but - girliscious? But I digress - more on the cast!

Interestingly enough, there were two rather plain looking young women, one of whom (surprise! surprise!) has already been eliminated. Her work was actually extremely well done and well thought through, but I'm guessing she didn't pass the Z rating test (based on fan obsession). At least there's one more 'plain Jane' left in the group. The seemingly middle aged Asian man was the first to go (and deservedly so, having dolled up his hapless model in what appeared to be reams of toilet paper). There are the toothy, buff gentlemen of the gay persuasion in abundance as always, five of them by my count. There's the winsome little blond whose work is just okay. And then there's the young woman who is a dead ringer for the illustrious Betty Page, right down to the black pageboy hair do and, usually, with a flower or feather plastered to the side of her head. Any bets on her being one of the final top three?! As diverse as this group is, they are downright boring, at least so far. We have no drama queens. We have no genuine hard luck stories. (Remember the heavyset Chris from last season? He was the sole gay son in a family of four boys, and had always been a social outcast. It was fascinating to see how he had remade himself and formed a family of friends in New York City.) There's no elegant Egyptian a la Rami! No begging for hugs Danial V! And there's certainly no outright nut job who is absolutely a genuine nut job like the Jay, the Season One winner, or a true character in his own right, the famous love him or hate him Santino Rice! It appears that this year's contestants were culled from Central Casting. There's no one to root for, no one that you'd miss if they were eliminated from this season.

The challenges are equally dull. The first one of the season was the first one of the first show: making an outfit out of items purchased from a grocery store. (The only bright spot there was having that very first challenge winner as a judge.) There were at least six outfits compiled out of - surprise! - table cloths for this challenge. Again, there was one bright spot: a hot-looking cobalt blue cocktail dress made from paper cups! To date, none of the winning outfits have been anything memorable. Can YOU remember your favorite outfit from Week 2? Week 3?

Even the judges look slightly shopworn this time around. Motherhood has apparently turned Nina Garcia into a real b___h, for some unknown reason. (Perhaps she really would rather be home raising her son?) Michael Kors is the only bright spot here; he appears ageless (oh, those wonderful, wonderful Manhattan plastic surgeons!) and seems to just blurt out whatever he's thinking this season, sometimes with pretty funny results. Heidi Klum, that walking, talking Barbie doll whose a modern miracle of what science and a good surgeon can add to Mother Nature, still hasn't softened her tough Teutonic demeanor. If she could just say something genuinely kind, something that appeared to be coming from the heart, for just once, I do believe the world would stop in its tracks. it is fun to watch each week's guest judge (Apolo Ono? Who would have ever associated him with a show about fashion?). Generally, at least in the final cut, the guest judge opines his or her verdict first, followed by mincing praise (or disdain, depending upon what the guest has said) from Nina and Michael. Klum, looking as vacuous as if she were staring at the frozen desserts aisle at Whole Foods, then chimes in with her (agreeing with the guest judge always!) heavily-accented comment as well. Hey, if this format has worked for four years, why change it? But why not change it? I don't ever, ever recall Garcia, Kors, or Klum disagreeing with a guest judge. Perhaps it's time that they developed an actual human spine or backbone.

Perhaps the saddest disappointment in this season so far has been Tim Gunn. Gunn has always been the epitome of graciousness and elegance on a show that sometimes gets downright bawdy, silly and superficial. His carefully structured apparel, leonine good looks and carefully measured way of expressing himself has always been a highlight of each episode. This season, however, Uncle Tim 'jumped the shark' by trying to engage in street banter with one of the contestants; I believe the phrase was 'holla' and 'holla back'. It was demeaning to a man of Gunn's reputation and character by bringing him down to the level of the street. No wonder he looks more than a bit weary physically this season: 'jumping the shark' takes a toll on a man's body and more importantly, his soul. (For those of you not familiar with the phrase, 'jumping the shark' is an entertainment industry phrase that indicates when a popular show, now waning, uses outrageous, out of character, and often downright bizarre methods to 'spice up' the show again. It can be by introducing a new character or having a radical lifestyle change of a permanent character, or by setting the show in a new locale, whether physically or in a state of being. Basically, it's a desperation move to pump the ratings back up.)

Here's hoping that Project Runway gets its sea legs and finds its way back home by the end of this season. Where there's Tim Gunn, you've got to believe that there's hope!