Prom Memories, 1994-1995: the Prom that Changed My Life

Sometimes It's Best to Skip Prom and Do Something Better...
In spring 1994 I was a junior in high school. I'd never had a boyfriend, and I honestly didn't expect anyone to ask me to prom. And that was just fine with me, because why on earth would I want to go to prom? To pretend I was a beautiful fairy princess? To dance with some nerdy guy in an ill-fitting tux? To try to talk to people who ignored my existence? Oh, the sweaty palms. Oh, the sore feet. Oh, the acne.

I was pretty certain that life would be better after high school. I was counting on it, in fact. The boys at my school just weren't interested in me. Well, maybe one boy was, but had he spoken a single word to me since May of 1993? No. Out of the blue, I'd asked him to the Women Pay All (WPA) dance at the end of sophomore year, and we'd gone and had a nice time-not at the dance, which totally sucked; we only stayed there for about 15 minutes-but we'd had fun driving around and talking and listening to music in his dad's car. I'll call him "Ben."

Now, forget about Ben for a minute. I'd started my first job as a grocery sacker in October, 1993, and had made several male friends at work. These boys all went to public schools, and they made me wonder if there was something inherently wrong with the boys at my private Catholic high school. The public school boys were friendly and laid back. They were easy to talk to, and I wasn't as shy around them. I felt like I fit in when I was with my coworkers in a way I never fit in at school.

What does any of this have to do with prom? I'm getting there, I promise.

My high school prom was approaching, and I still didn't have a date. But so what? Proms are for the popular kids, not for the rejects like me. I was perfectly fine with not going to prom. Then one of Ben's friends told one of my friends that Ben was going to ask me to prom. It was hard to believe because, like I said, he'd barely spoken to me since our date at the end of sophomore year. Did I even want to go to prom with him? Hmm. If he'd asked me out right after the WPA dance, I surely would have said yes; but it had been almost a year, and I had that whole new group of public school friends at work, comprised of several boys who actually talked to me on a regular basis.

There was one boy in particular...He wasn't as outgoing as some of the others, but he was so funny and responsible and cute, and he seemed to like me. But maybe it was all in my head. He could have asked me out, but he didn't.

I made a life-changing decision that April. I'm still a little ashamed of what I did, because I know I must have hurt Ben's feelings. I was too nice to say no to Ben, but I really didn't want to go to prom. Just thinking about prom made me uncomfortable. So I found a way out. April 23, 1994 was the date of my high school prom. I needed to make sure I wasn't available to go out that night. That way, if Ben actually got up the courage to ask me to prom, I had an excuse: It's nothing personal, Ben, but, uh, I already have other plans. Sorry.

I wasn't ready to ask another boy to prom-honestly, I didn't want to go to prom!-but I did have the guts to ask that special boy from work on a date. I didn't have his phone number, so I went to the grocery store when I knew he was working. I found him on the cookies-and-crackers aisle, doing go-backs. He had a package of Oreo cookies in his hand. I asked him if he'd like to go somewhere fun with me on April 23rd, instead of prom. He said yes and gave me his phone number. I'll never forget that he gave me the last two numbers in German (we both took German in high school)-acht, sechs. What a dork!

I casually let Ben's friend know that I had other plans on April 23rd and wouldn't be going to prom, and that was the end of that. While many of my classmates were stepping on each others' toes and getting sweat stains on their new dresses and rented tuxedos, and carrying on awkward conversations in my high school's glitzed-up gymnasium on prom night, I was riding roller coasters at the local amusement park with that shy, funny, tall boy from work.

He later confessed that he'd never been on a roller coaster before our first date. He'd wanted to impress me, I guess. Just about everything he did (and didn't do) impressed me, so, six years later, on August 5, 2000, I married that young man. His name's Dan. We have two kids. He does a killer Butt-Head impression and still speaks in broken German sometimes. Through Facebook, I know that Ben is also married now and doing just fine.

It's true! Good things can happen when you skip the prom.

Memories of Proms I Did Attend, 1994-1995
A month after our first date, when Dan's high school's prom rolled around and we were still dating, I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, so we went. Another girl asked Dan to prom-someone who'd apparently had a crush on him for years-and he had to turn her down. I think that girl, who didn't have any trouble getting another date, came over to say hi to us at prom. Awkward!

Long story short: our first prom was okay, but nowhere close to the best night of my life. It's only been, um...it's been a mere 17 years since we danced under a bunch of balloons on "The Bridge" at his high school, but I don't remember any magic moments. (The theme of the prom was "This Magic Moment.") We went out to eat beforehand with a group of kids from Dan's school. I knew three of them through work. The meal was tiny and fancy and expensive. You can see from the pictures I've shared here what my dress and corsage and hair looked like. We didn't rent a limo. The guys said it was too expensive.

In 1995, senior year, we went to the prom at my high school. Again, no limo. I wore the same dress since no one at my school had seen it, and we ate lukewarm Italian food and danced. The theme of that prom was "Take My Breath Away." There was one magical moment that did, indeed, take my breath away: While I was jumping to the song "Jump" by Kriss Kross (remember Kriss Kross?), the halter-top part of my dress came unhooked and fell down. Miraculously, no one noticed my wardrobe malfunction or managed to snap any pictures.

Now, are you still sorry you don't have a prom date? Don't be!

Related Articles by Maria Roth:

A poem I wrote about how I first met my husband: "Grocery Sackers, Before They Fell in Love"

Read about our wedding: "Summer Wedding Memories: My Dream Wedding in Kansas City"

See pictures from our wedding here.