Promise Rings: A Form of Commitment?

I remember being in high school and being extremely jealous of my friends that had promise rings. I wanted a boy to confess his undying love for my by placing a promise ring on my finger, but a promise ring is something I never received. As of today, I am very thankful I never experienced the pleasant surprise of a promise ring. My perspective has grown and I now see promise rings as a form of 'pre-engagement.' It is not a form of commitment whatsoever. It allows both parities involved, who are not ready to make a real commitment, to make a lesser commitment.

I remember one of my best friends receiving her promise ring during our senior year of high school. From that moment on all she would talk about was how she was going to spend the rest of her life with her beau. It eventually got sickening to listen to her and I often began ignoring her when her big-house-with-a-white-picketed-fence fantasies would roll off her tongue. If you guessed that they broke up before they even stepped foot onto their college campus, you are right!

See, the promise ring allowed them to plan their life out together before they were even ready for life. They were able to play house before they even knew what it was like to be out of their parent's house. A promise ring gave them the opportunity to say, 'When we get married...' before they had even made a commitment to get married.

Women, if a man gives you a promise ring, be cautious. Your first reaction might be of surprise and delight, but you need to realize that this giving of the promise ring means that he is not ready for marriage. If he was ready for marriage, he would have gotten down on one knee and asked for your hand in marriage and given you an engagement ring instead!

The problem with promise rings is that women automatically assume thoughts of marriage, but in reality no idea of marriage has been proposed. Relationships can survive without promises rings, even seriously committed ones.

Honestly, I believe that discussing what you are going to name your kids and where you would like to vacation to for your honeymoon should not be discussed early on in a relationship especially if you are in high school. This may be a harsh statement, but if you discuss these things with your significant others you may just be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

Your heart is something that should be valued and carefully guarded for both women and men; it is not something that should be given away so freely and carelessly.