Proof that the Pillsbury Doughboy is Satan's Liege

I finally have conclusive proof that the sweet-looking Pillsbury Doughboy works for Satan.

Early Childhood Research

As a kid, when I could eat whatever I wanted and not worry about fat or calories, I loved when my mom bought Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls. They were easy enough for a pre-teen to pop in the oven, and wait a mere eight to 10 minutes before there would be a hot, cinnamon bun with gooey icing to eat.

Over the years Pillsbury has tried to improve on an branch out from the Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls. They made them bigger, reduced the fat, changed the flavor of the icing, and even changed the flavor of the rolls to include orange. None of these have been improvements on the original.

The large ones are too doughy and don't have enough cinnamon, the cream cheese frosting is not as good as the original, and I'll have my orange in a glass piece.

The masterpiece breakfast snack food that is a Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll should have been enough to convince even the biggest non-believers that the Pillsbury Doughboy was indeed in cahoots with Satan. It was almost enough to convince me.

Until now. Now I have empirical and concrete proof that the Pillsbury Doughboy is Satan's Liege.

The Proof

Where's the proof? In a blue baking box called Pillsbury Cinnamon Swirl Quick Bread.

Some may argue that it was the Spread and Bake Brownie Batter or even the Pillsbury Simply Bake Bars: Turtle Supreme Bars that provided the final proof of the devilish alliance, but I say it is the Cinnamon Swirl Quick Bread.

It is easy to make, delicious, and completely beyond any previous proof of resistance to temptation. The Pillsbury Cinnamon Swirl Quick Bread is the apple in the Garden of Eden of supermarket shelves.

This coffeecake rivals any you will find at your favorite local cafe, and comes complete with enough sugary Cinnamon topping to create a layer in the bread, and on the top.

I made this coffeecake for my son, because he likes muffins, and he likes cinnamon. He is napping, and I can hear the Cinnamon Swirl Quick Bread calling to me. Even as I eat my multi-grain tortilla with low-fact cheese and skinless white chicken meat topped with organic salsa, I know that I will succumb to the temptation that is Pillsbury Cinnamon Swirl Quick Bread.

Damn that Doughboy!

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