Proper Movie Theater Etiquette

We've all dealt with it at some point: the person eating popcorn with her mouth open right behind you, or the couple that giggles and gossips right over the movie. Most people just tolerate it or drop hints in a non-confrontational manner that may not even be noticed. Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps others are trying to deal with you in the same way? Rude theater goers never know it's them until someone gets just too fed up. How would you feel if the young man sitting in front of you turned around and politely asked you to eat with your mouth closed?

Here are a few tips to keep your theater-going experience pleasant for everyone involved.

Plan Ahead

1. Know what movie you're going to see. You don't want to be the person that makes everyone in line late for their movies while you stand at the register making a decision.

2. Give yourself plenty of time. Find out what time the movie shows as far in advance as you can. Give yourself plenty of time for travel, waiting in line for tickets, waiting in line for snacks, and finding a seat. You don't want to be crawling over the laps of other patrons to get to your seat while they are trying to watch the movie.

3. Know what snacks you're ordering before you reach the counter. If you haven't figured it out by the time it's your turn, let the person behind you go first. You'd just be standing there trying to decide anyway. This way, other people don't have to wait for you to do so.

Be Quiet

Seriously. Even with the lights off, we still know it's you. The dark doesn't make you invisible.

1. Turn the cellphone off! Really, everything about your cellphone will be a distraction if it comes into play during the movie. We all understand if you need to leave it on vibrate in case the sitter calls. If someone else calls, forward them directly to voicemail, though. The whole theater can hear the thing buzzing, even during the action scenes. If the sitter does call, quickly leave the theater. Don't answer it until you're out in the hall. We will all know that the phone is buzzing and appreciate that you didn't add to the distraction by talking over our overpriced entertainment experience.

2. Open the candy before the lights dim. Once that movie starts, the other patrons don't want to hear anything but movie. Those candy wrappers are loud!

3. Chew with your mouth closed. You may have thought the only reason to do this was so you didn't gross people out at the dinner table. Once the lights go down, you should be free and clear right? Wrong. Your lips are sound insulation. Even with your mouth closed, we can still hear you chewing your popcorn. We can actually tell if you are just chewing one piece or shoving a handful in there. We just try really hard to tune it out. That's much easier to do if your crunching and smacking isn't louder than the explosions and background music.

4. Don't talk. Even whispering is up for debate. As a general rule of thumb, you're too loud if your friend can hear you with your mouth more than two (2) inches from his ear. If he doesn't have to lean into you to hear, nearby patrons don't either.

Be a Parent

If you have kids, it's important to note that they still need your guidance when it's dark. The job is 24/7. If you need a break, public is not the place for it.

1. Teach your kids all of the quiet rules. We understand that they won't be perfect. The line between cute and obnoxious lays in the parents efforts to encourage good etiquette.

2. Don't let them make a mess. I don't care if you spoil them rotten at home. This is just like being at someone else's house. If they throw candy, take it away! If they're prone to spilling popcorn, ask the snack counter folks for water cups when you buy it. They'll be happy to oblige. Just have some respect for the space and other patrons that use it.

3. Don't bring them to wildly inappropriate movies. Everyone in the theater feels like an accomplice when you do that, even though we know we can't do any thing to stop you. Even worse is listening to that sweet little four year old crying and begging to go home in the middle of I am Legend, regardless of whether you take him out. I'm not asking you to start caring about his well-being or anything so extreme, but at least keep your abuse at home and stop ruining other people's good times with it.

4. If they're not up for it, leave. The manager will be happy to give you a rain check so you can come back another time, free of charge. I've done this many times, especially when my children were toddlers. Managers would much rather let you come back on a different day than deal with the complaints of all the other people in the theater with you. This is a not a big deal.

On the Way Out

1. Pick up after yourself. Throw your trash away. Put your kids booster seats away. The employees have enough to do without taking up your slack. Much of the time, there are even other patrons waiting to get in. The sooner the theater is cleaned up, the sooner they can start picking their seats. Take care of your own mess, and don't leave them waiting in line any longer.

2. Look at the toilet. Before you leave the stall, look at it. Leave it in a condition you would be willing to use. It's mind boggling, the number of full grown adults that don't flush or manage to leave urine all over the place. Maybe it would help to keep in mind that the next person in line, the one that has to clean up your mess before they can use the facilities, that person saw you on your way out. You never know when it will be your boss, or the sibling of your crush, or the Taco Bell employee that makes your lunch tomorrow. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.