Pros and Cons: Types of Sex In-Between Relationships

Many will tell you how vital sex is in a relationship, but what happens when you're not in one? When it comes to sleeping with someone, everyone has their own set of rules and in some cases, those rules might get thrown right out the window depending on who the potential partner is. Some have a policy of only sleeping with those they're in a relationship with, while others either have no issue with having sex with others while they're single or they prefer not to, but choose to if it gets to a certain point. Regardless of what your policy is, there's pros and cons of the various types of sex you could have if you're in between relationships.

Ex-sex

Ex-sex is dangerous territory. It's beneficial that you already know what the person likes and vice versa, and if you're willing to have sex with this person again, chances are the sex is pretty fantastic. However, you already know how high the chances are for feelings to surface even after just kissing; jump into bed with each other and those chances skyrocket by the time you start putting your shirt back on. It doesn't matter if you've gone without sex for years, developing a zero tolerance policy for ex-sex is usually the way to go.

One night stand

There are many fans of the one night stand - I don't happen to be one of them. The standard definition is having sex with someone for the first time then never seeing each other again for whatever reason. Personally, I think there's more negative involved in it than pleasure. Granted, there's a certain allure to them - they're hot and erotic and usually happen spontaneously. However, there's also the huge issue of STD's and pregnancy. If you have a one night stand, you should never, ever go without a condom. A hot night of sex without a condom isn't worth what could happen if you forgo one.

Booty Call

It's simple enough - you contact someone you know whenever you want sex or vice versa and that's pretty much the end of it. The person is only an acquaintance. It's basically like a one night stand except you keep the person on late night speed dial and see them more than once. There's the benefit of having sex whenever you want without the responsibility of having a relationship - typically ideal for those who don't have the current means or opportunity for a commitment. There's also no worry if the two of you stop talking - you would likely miss the person for their ability to give you multiple orgasms than the fact that they were really nice. The downside to a booty call is that the person could also be sleeping with five other people and you'd probably have no idea about it - not exactly ideal for your sexual health. The lack of any type of emotional connection makes it very easy to lie about that even if you ask.

Friends with benefits

In between relationships, having a friend with benefits is relatively ideal although extremely difficult to do. First, there's the issue of finding a friend you have great sex with and who you also like hanging out with and talking to but where there's no feelings from either one of you. Be aware that even if you find this friend, one of you is very likely going to develop feelings at some point. A benefit of this situation other than the sex is if both of you develop feelings for each other; the negative side is if one of you doesn't - it's not easy to keep that friendship going after that point. If you're someone who gets attached fairly easily or the friend you're considering has or had feelings for you or vice versa, you may want to consider a no friend with benefits policy.

Dating sex

Dating sex isn't the same as relationship sex - it's typically right on the border of it. You meet someone, hang out together, enjoy each other's company, then you start having sex. Usually if you get to this point, there's a good chance you've already discussed exclusivity and where your relationship is going. If you haven't, you really should at least within days afterward so both of you are on the same page, but keep in mind that the discussion doesn't set things in stone. The benefit is that it can bring you closer together and provide you with great sex, but the downside is that if the sex is bad or there's no connection, it could drive you apart.

It can be difficult when you're in between relationships - you're lonely, want companionship and you miss the frequent intimacy and sex. The challenge is to do what you can not to let those feelings draw you into making reckless decisions. Whatever your policy is regarding single sex, keep in mind that having sex with someone with whom you really want to is one thing, but when you do it for the wrong reasons, it often leads to one major feeling - regret.