Protecting Your Words

I have been a professional freelance writer since 1996, but truly, I have been writing since I could hold a pencil. With hundreds of published articles under my belt, one novel, and becoming the brave owner of my own small, independent press - I have a lot to be proud of. Most of my initial words were read, reviewed, edited, and promoted by my friends and family, and all of this was fine and good until the Internet came along and I gained regular access to it.

As soon as I began emailing, I began commentating and leading people to my various online travel articles and religious pieces. Soon enough, one tired friend suggested, "Tiffani, why don't you just start blogging!"

What a great idea! I embraced it instantly. Today, I have four blogs - one for my personal kicks, one for other professional writers, one for my online book discussion group, and one to lead everyone to all those other places. I love every aspect of writing, even the letters I have collected from various old rejection piles.

I love that I am now actually invited to write places. Encouraged by editors to send them my essays and stories. That's huge for a writer in America - the Mecca of publishing anywhere! I have earned my right to write. But the one aspect of writing that still haunts me from time to time comes straight from some of those same old friends who are very often my early support in a project. They can just as easily be my fastest and most furious accusers if I write something that they disagree with.

Several times I have considered taking up another career, because on a blog, I have stated my political opinion and the reader was angry with my pro-life views, or more often, they were angry with the more liberal aspects of my generally conservative politics. Or they did not like that I publically noted a friend who had betrayed or hurt me. This is off limits to the sensitive people of the world. They can hurt you, or their friends can, but you cannot yell, or should I say, write back.

The other day I received an email informing me that I was often "mean", that I was indirectly accusatory. I immediately scanned my blogs, searched and archived old posts - read through them like a neurotic proof reader for "indirect" or "direct" meaness. Nothing came up. I confessed that I had implied some negative attributes of one mutual friend. I also noted that I had told the friend I was going to write the piece as a temporary/half-joking retaliation. It was so "coded" only one of my 75 readers that day even knew who it was. In fact, only 3 people actually read the post. The evidence proved that my "friend", the reader, was not correct, but rather, just painfully sensitive - One who takes way too many things personally.

I apologized for my words and then, sent her several examples of places where I had been directly nice. This didn't matter.

"I like the posts where you are nice, Tiffani. I guess it's all the ones where you are not. Blogging is not for me."

No pleasing this reader. I actually began to be careful with my words, with my freedom of speech until my fourth grade son reminded me that this is a right that is actually secured in the US. I had begun to erase past posts that might offend dog-lovers, Evangelicals who would be offended by my favorite Chekov short story, pictures of my Halloween party, thoughts on my own Catholicism - didn't want the Protestants to be upset. I sent a general email apologizing for possible offenses when I posted a quiz about discovering your own merit as a compulsive liar. I was changing my words, myself, because someone with a very weak argument had been made uncomfortable. I don't naturally attack people, yet, I was very swiftly and directly attacked. I was not even vindicated with an, "I'm sorry! I thought you meant something else. My mistake."

But, like I said, I snapped out of it before all the more interesting parts of my writing could be depleted from cyberworld. My son suggested I be true to the right I had.

"Mommy, just write and if people don't like they can write their own stuff," he suggested. It made a lot of sense.

I encouraged the wounded reader not to read anymore of my words, and I addressed my "regulars" that evening online by promising them that I would always be true to myself and to them by being who I was created to be - in print and in person - and if I offended them, they were free to tell me. If I encouraged them, they were free to express that as well. And anyone is free to ignore me alltogether, just as I am free to speak, even when it is not the Happy Sunshine Blog for which I write.

Writers, just write it. People will come...thus, the forum for expression at Associated Content. And use your words wisely, as they may come back to you. But be strong in your thoughts. Be prepared to defend yourself, because sensitive people are lurking in sad little corners waiting for just the right moment to exclaim, "Talking about politics is divisive! You are a mean lady!"