Protection and Consideration in Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Wives of the Dead

The loss of a loved one is always a complicated situation. Whether you experience the loss personally or you know someone who has, it is always an awkward time. Trying to think of what to do and what to say or having to listen to people's claims of understanding your pain can be very difficult. Through this trying time, having someone who can truly empathize with you makes a world of difference.

In "The Wives of the Dead," by Nathaniel Hawthorne, he examines grief and the effect it has on the women in the story. He puts two women in a unique situation. Both are dealing with the loss of a loved one. Realizing that it is imperative that they band together, they comfort one another and rely on each other. In "The Wives of the Dead," Hawthorne examines the relationship between these two women and explores how their common bond leads them to reserve their own happiness and make special considerations for each other's feelings.

"The Wives of the Dead" tells the story of two recent widows. Mary and Margaret are sisters-in-law who, within days of each other, have been informed that their husbands have died. The death of their husbands and the grief that follows bring these two women together in a way that they would not have been otherwise: "United, as they had been, by the relationship of the living, and now more closely so by that of the dead, each felt as if whatever consolation her grief admitted were to be found in the bosom of the other. They joined their hearts, and wept together silently" (63).

The relationship between Mary and Margaret has deepened in a short period of time. However, their bond is real, and with it, they have developed genuine concern for one another. Before they were simply sisters-in-law, but now they are forever linked by their common grief. They are now forced to rely on each other. They both accept this charge and throughout the story demonstrate that they will go to great lengths to be supportive of each other.

The desire of the sisters to be supportive of each other is first exhibited by Mary. She shows great concern for Margaret and is very protective of her. She feels that because her grief was the "earliest known," it should "earliest cease" (63). She sets aside her own sorrow and turns her attention to Margaret. She understands Margaret's heartache and tries to take her mind off it and get her to tend to her own well being: "'Come, dearest sister; you have not eaten a morsel to-day,' she said. 'Arise, I pray you, and let us ask a blessing on that which is provided for us'" (63-4). Mary wants Margaret to take care of herself. She is also very nurturing to Margaret.

At the end of the story, after waking from her own sleep, Mary, like a mother watching her child, goes in to check on Margaret: "Before retiring, she set down the lamp, and endeavored to arrange the bed-clothes so that the chill air might not do harm to the feverish slumberer" (68). Mary is concerned with Margaret's health. Like a mother, her sole priority is Margaret and her welfare. Despite her own grief, she feels the need to ensure that Margaret is safe and sound. Mary uses her concern for Margaret as a coping mechanism to deal with her own grief. By nurturing Margaret, she is healing herself as well as Margaret. Mary's concern for Margaret gives her purpose.

In their attempts to protect one another, the sisters-in-law suppress their own feelings. Mary first sets her grief aside to focus on Margaret, but Margaret also exemplifies this later. When she believes that her husband is alive, Margaret's first impulse is to share her wonderful news with the one who understands her most, Mary. However, her excitement is quickly replaced with sorrow for Mary:

Joy flashed into her heart, and lighted it up at once; and breathless, and with winged steps, she flew to the bedside of her sister. She paused, however, at the door of the chamber, while a thought of pain broke in upon her. 'Poor Mary!' said she to herself. 'Shall I waken her, to feel her sorrow sharpened by my happiness? No; I will keep it within my own bosom till the morrow.' (66) Margaret is unable to hurt Mary. She feels guilty for seemingly having her prayers answered while her sister-in-law is still hurting. She "felt as if her own better fortune had rendered her involuntarily unfaithful" (66). Because of the bond that they share, she wants Mary to be happy also.

She cannot bear for her happiness to show while she knows her sister is still in pain. She feels as if her happiness will be a betrayal to the common bond they share. She suppresses her own happiness to protect the feelings of Mary. Mary makes the same sacrifice for Margaret. When she believes that her beloved husband is alive, she too thinks first of sharing the news with her dear sister.

However, when thoughts of her sister's unhappiness arise, she decides otherwise: " [S]he remembered that Margaret would awake to thoughts of death and woe, rendered not the less bitter by their contrast with her own felicity" (68). Just like Margaret, Mary is unable to pour salt into the wounds of her sister-in-law by expressing her overwhelming joy and happiness. Hawthorne is commenting on how often women have been historically taught that it is their role to take care of those around them and deny themselves happiness in order to make those around them feel better.

Perhaps the most ironic aspect of the story stems from the fact that both sisters seem to be in a dream state when they receive the wonderful news that their husbands are alive. Yet both believe that the other is dreaming, and both comment on how their sister-in-law's happiness is falsely wrapped in these dreams. After deciding not to tell Mary of her good news, Margaret thinks, "Happy is it, and strange, that the lighter sorrows are those from which dreams are chiefly fabricated" (66). She believes that the look of "motionless contentment" (66) on Mary's face is nothing more that the result of a wishful fantasy. Mary also displays these thoughts. As Mary watches Margaret's "rose-tinted" cheeks, "vivid smile," and "expression of joy," she thinks to herself, "My poor sister! You will waken too soon from that happy dream" (68).

Mary believes that Margaret's joy exists only in the delusions of her dreams. Both women are convinced that the other is dreaming. Through their thoughts and actions, Hawthorne reveals that although Mary and Margaret care about each other and would never intentionally hurt one another, deep inside, they subconsciously want the happiness that they think they are hiding from one another and are unable to believe that they both can have this happiness. Hawthorne's perception of the relationship between these two women seems contradictory. Although they seem selfless and caring, they have secret desires that are selfish.

The relationship between Mary and Margaret is unlike any other. Hawthorne highlights the emotional roller coaster on which these two women find themselves. By showing Mary and Margaret torn between their own feelings and each other's feelings, Hawthorne exemplifies the torment women face by trying to stifle their true feelings in order to protect the ones they love.

Hawthorne is saying that women are sometimes false in the appearances they portray because they do not want to hurt the other's feelings. The bond that Mary and Margaret share fuels their desire to protect one another. Whether or not their encounters were real or fantasy, both women believed that they were doing what was right for the other. Their actions and their concerns for each other exemplify the healing power of love.