Provoked Thoughts

You know how a name or word starts to sound funny the more times you say it or how it dawns on you all of a sudden just what a phrase means and where it probably originated? These are the things that have done that to me this week.

On my semi daily walks down my street I pass three historical cemeteries. Previous research has revealed some pretty big deal (as far as RI history is concerned) people lived and died on my street. A naval war hero and captain, some major players in the Gatsby mutiny, founders of the Quaker church in the area, and even some of the first entrepreneurs in this country are among them. Most of them got here through various acts of rebellion and some of whom have been expunged from the local records or where never even included because of their less than PC behavior for the times.

The woman you won't find in any of the public records was married to one of the wealthiest and most influential men in our town. A decorated military man who was buried alongside his wife and multiple children though the wife he is along side of is NOT the unmentioned wife but his first wife who died long before he did. Irony being what it is the second wife, the wife he had the longest, the wife who is not mentioned in the public record... her first name is Silence.

Further pondering of the terminology "historical cemetery" begs the question what cemetery isn't historical? After all if you reside there you're pretty much history, aren't you?

I've noticed a lot of the Hollywood starlets who are getting pregnant are strict vegans. I wonder how they are doing the pregnancy thing when they already looked like a cancer patient thanks to their new diet plan. Natalie Portman, Alicia Silverstone, as well as Emily and Zoe DeChannel's have all been getting press lately for their "healthy" life style. I've seen Alicia on Rachel Ray, Zoe on Top Chef, Natalie on a tabloid show and Emily has become thinner with every new episode of Bones; it's to the point where she looks like all she has is bones. What in the world makes these women think this is a healthy way to be? Where does strict veganism even come from? And you can't tell me nature because you seriously need to consider what animals are strict vegans. Ain't nothing sexy about strictly vegan animals. Consider what we are talking about; cows (with all four stomachs because of the work the body has to do to get anything worthwhile from eating grass all your life), hippos who are so FAT they spend most of their time in water so they won't collapse under their own weight, elephants... Need I go on? Vegetarian animals are massive for a reason, because they need to consume TONS of food to maintain their health and reproduce.

Stick figured human vegans don't look healthy, they would have to graze 18 hours a day to be at a reasonable weight and body mass for what I would consider healthy looking, i.e. not someone in the third month of radical chemotherapy. Consider how we are built, one stomach, sharp teeth, upright... we are meant to eat meat. Besides how does one give up bacon? I mean really if you've had bacon even once how can you never have it again? Someone should slip these women a BLT.

And my final topic for the day is identification. As in; do you have any? Well yeah I have ID it's called a license. Well let me rephrase that, I had ID when I went into the store and I handed it over to the cashier with my credit card to prove who I was. She handed me a receipt and what I thought was my license with my credit card but later when I looked for my license to buy something in another store I didn't have it. So I started retracing my steps through the three other stores I'd visited in the plaza before going back to the last place I remember having it. They said they hadn't found it so like the rest of the places I'd been I left my name and number on a piece of paper that said Lost License so they would contact me when they found it.

Five minutes after leaving the store and wrangling my way into rush hour traffic on one of the most congested roadways in the state the store called my house to say they found it. They spoke to my husband and told him to have me come in and bring ID to prove it was mine. WHAT????? IT IS my ID! Can you not match the picture on it to my face right in front of you???? Who has more than their license for an ID? Did they want my first born and a utility bill?

Be safe.