Psychology & Your Child

Psychology has been the influential solution to assist in the disciplining of your child and here are some theories from some of the best psychologists.

When should I teach my child that stealing is wrong?

Lets use Kohlberg's six stages. During stage 1 is Obedience and Punishment Orientation. Kohlberg's stage 1 is similar to Piaget's first stage of moral thought. The child assumes that powerful authorities hand down a fixed set of rules which he or she must unquestionably obey. To the Heinz dilemma, the child typically says that

Heinz was wrong to steal the drug because its against the law or it's bad to steal. Even though the majority of children at stage 1 oppose Heinz theft, it is still possible for a child to support the action and employ stage 1 reasoning. But then over an amount of time some of them will reach stage 2 and realize that there isn't just one right view handed down by authorities. Then they may think it's right to take the drug. But notice how stage 1 and 2 differ. Stage 1 states that he was completely wrong for taking the drug, but stage 2 states that he was right for taking the drug because he had good intentions. Subjects often say that Heinz was right to steal the drug because the druggist was unwilling to make a fair deal. In other words he was trying to rip Heinz off. So when you teach them that stealing is wrong, teach them stage 1 that stealing is always wrong no matter the

intentions because you will still have to face the consequences later on if you're caught.

When should I teach my child to ride a bike?

For this question lets use Erickson's Theory of Psychosocial Development. Even though the child is supposed to be passed stage 1, this stage could probably help out. Basic Trust vs. Basic Mistrust, where if a child is well-handled, nurtured and loved, they will develop trust, security and basic optimism. May end up insecure and mistrustful. So for example where as if you teach a child to ride a bike, you would have to let them know

that you're there to assist them and then over time they won't need anyone to help them out with riding. Even though you shouldn't teach them how to ride a bike at too early of an age.

When should I talk to my kids about drugs? What should I say?

For this issue, lets use Kohlberg's Level II, Stage 3 Good Interpersonal Relationships stage. At this stage children are usually entering their teens see morality more than just simple deals. They believe people should live up to the expectations of the family and community and behave in "good" ways. Good behavior means having good motives and interpersonal feelings such as love, empathy, trust, and concern for others. As a child is raised during this period they should be lectured again about what's right and what's wrong. Now they will be making friends who will soon have a bad influence on them and encourage them to do wrong. In other words, the term "peer pressure" will come into play. Now you may have taught them correctly a great deal, but it is up to them to make their choice whether you like it or not. You just let them know that you have a great

amount of trust in them and hope they make the right choice and just say NO!

When should I talk to my child about sex and sexual activity? What should I say?

For this issue I have to use two psychologists theories. For Robert Havighurst, during the developmental tasks of infancy and early childhood, the child learns sex differences and sexual modesty. But for Erikson, during the Intimacy and Distantiation vs. Self-absorption stage, he believed that if the young person came out of this crisis with his/her own identity, he/she is ready to get into sexual and intellectual intimacy with the

opposite sex. In addition he/she is ready to defend his/her own rights if the situation arises. He also believed that people would be intimate only if they have strong identity. So during the early childhood you teach them the difference between sexes. Then later on they will define their sexuality and therefore, is prepared to get into intimacy.