Puberty and Teenage Depression

When I picked up my daughter from school yesterday, I noticed she was a little quieter than normal. Usually, she'll enthusiastically jump into the car and immediately begin telling me about something exciting that's happened in school that day. A story of who's kissing whom, or who's secretly crushing on whom, and of course, the endless stories about whichever boy she happens to like on that particular day.

Those are the stories that really terrify me, my baby's only 11, or, 12, as she tells me with that deep, ' mom you're so dumb,' sigh, and a roll of her eyes. So ok, she's 12, but still my baby, and way too young to be crushing on boys already. She started this boy thing at the beginning of last year, I began to notice her staring at them at the park, or crushing on some cute overrated teenage heart throb, and then, a few weeks later came that breath taking question all us parents dread having to hear, 'mom, when can I date?' So, after picking my heart up off the floor, forcing myself to open my eyes to the fact that my baby is growing up, I told her she could date, as friends, when she turned 14. '14,' she said, crushed, 'I'll be an old maid by then!' I'm left to wonder what is with our girls these days? They're forced by the media and peer pressure, to grow up to fast. There little minds frantically trying to keep up with there rapidly developing bodies, racing hormones turning them into semi psychotic 12 year olds, not understanding all those developing feelings that puberty brings on. My daughter can be fine and happy one minute, but the next she's crying hysterically and has no idea why, she's constantly asking me why she feels so sad all the time. I feel really bad for her, and quite honestly, scared as well. After all, I'm her mother, it's my job to protect her from pain, but I have no idea what to do about the pain of just being a teenager. Yes, I was one for a brief amount of time, and I remember how it felt, definitely not a time in my life I'd ever wish to relive. Depression runs in my family, and I sometimes wonder if I haven't unknowingly passed this on to my daughter. So, getting back to her sudden lack of communication yesterday, and another issue that's troubling our kids today, peer pressure, Seems that a friend of hers wanted her to say something to someone, something that was entirely inappropriate, and when she refused, she was called names. let me tell you, most kids wouldn't let this affect them as much as she did, my oldest daughter will tell her friends right quick,' I don't care what you think, I'm not doing that!' but not taylor, she acts as if her world has come to an end. She is to much like me, affectionate, overly sensitive and feels things way to much, She puts her heart and soul into relationships and gets her feelings hurt by her friends, much to easily. Peer pressure is a definite problem for teenagers. Every child longs to belong, to have a group of friends they can trust, and know will always be there for them. My daughter is just such a friend to others, but she's had her heart broke so many times. It makes me so angry at how she allows people to treat her. I just want to shield her from the pain, by not allowing her to get close to anyone, even though I realize I cant do this. So how does a mom know when and where to step in, when it comes to there daughters friendships and relationships? Should we even try to censor who our child's friends are. Weeding out those little girls we consider 'bad' for them. You know the ones I'm referring to, those who just must have everything there way, those little girls who, when your daughter calls them up, they are busy playing with other friends or doing something else and have no time to talk, but when she's ready to play, expects your daughter to drop everything and play with her. Its hard to tell her she cant play with a friend she likes, but one that you know will eventually hurt her. Its also hard to watch your child cry in pain because someone has broken there heart. So how do we find that common ground? How do we recognize puberty and distinguish it from teenage depression? How do we know when to seek help for our child when there having a really hard time dealing with the issues of teenagers?

The first step is diagnosing the problem our child is having. Doctors suggest that a certain amount of depression in teens can be considered normal, unfortunately, it comes along with the maturing process. The stress associated with puberty, the influence of sex hormones and conflicts with parents and especially, peers, Can be enough to onset depression in our children. We don't think about what they must deal with everyday, the pressures they have to face at school, and with there friends. It has to be hard on them. So of course, a certain amount of sadness or depression can be expected. However, the depression could also be caused by a traumatic event that's happened in there life within the past 3 months. Teen depression is very hard to diagnose because there young, developing, rapidly changing bodies, are undergoing many new things, some of which they find extremely hard to handle, and there moods change with the tides. However, persistent signs of depression should be looked at by parents, and action taken to prevent this illness from further effecting our children's lives. Some of the signs of clinical depression in teens, are, a decline in there schoolwork, excessive sleeping patterns, change in eating habits, and disassociation with family and friends. Studies have shown that between 15 and 20 percent of teens experience clinical depression, and girls are twice as likely as boys to be plagued by depression. If your teen is experiencing any of the signs and symptoms of depression, its important that you communicate with them and get help as soon as possible. Depression is not a problem that will 'just go away,' it's a very real medical condition which requires attention and care by a professional. If clinical depression is let go long enough in teenagers, it can manifest itself in many other ways, such as getting in trouble with the law, drugs or alcohol problems. Depression comes in many shapes and sizes, about like our teenagers. The important thing is recognizing the signs, so we know the signs of depression and can recognize them in our children, and get them the help they need. Major depression in teens can be a serious problem, this is a sadness experienced by your teenager which lasts, on average, longer than 2 weeks. Teens are naturally emotional with all the hormonal changes there going though, but prolonged sadness is a very serious sign of depression. Other signs to watch out for, are sleep disorders, slow in motion, lack of concentration, disassociation with family and friends, loss of interest in school, loss of interest in there friends or doing things they once enjoyed, loss of self worth. Clinical depression and major depression are the same, the signs and warning symptoms of these diseases should be handled delicately, but decisively, with your teens to prevent them from becoming worse. Dysthymia disorder, is also the same as clinical depression, with a lot of the same signs and symptoms, just not as severe. It begins in childhood, and can oftentimes be passed off as your child 'just being difficult,' the symptoms last a total of 1 year, and can be something as simple as being irritable and sad a lot.
Adjustment disorder with depressed mood, is more prevalent in teens, and can be a reaction to an event in there life that occurred within the past 3 months. Usually how long it takes for the symptoms to manifest themselves. Stressors, set off an emotional turmoil which presents itself as symptoms of depression in our teens. Bipolar disorder and seasonal affection disorder are other emotional and psychological illnesses, that can effect our teens. Puberty is a very rough time for our kids. As parents, we need to wake up and realize that our teens are undergoing a time in there life that they can never recapture, a time, when there going through so many changes and are being transformed into the adults they will one day be. But, sometimes the hassles of being a teenager are to much for them, they cant handle it alone. that's when we, as parents, have to step in and help.

Studies have suggested that 20 percent of teenagers will experience some form of depression before there 18, 70 percent of teens will have at least 1 episode of clinical depression before adulthood, with the cycle lasting at least 8 months. Teen depression cannot be prevented, but the symptoms can be managed with therapy and sometimes, medication when necessary. If you think your child may be experiencing some form of depression, seek help from your local therapist to have your teens behavior evaluated, don't wait. Teen depression and its counterpart teen suicide, is an all to common problem. Communicate with your teen, and get them to a local therapist, someone who can help them manage the symptoms of there illness. for information on teenage depression and other mental disorders parents can visit these websites for valuable information, www.teendepression.org, www.focusas.com, and www.kidshealth.org.