Public Screams, Private Pains

Recently my husband and I were shopping in our local Wal-mart. We were walking down the main aisle when suddenly an ear-splitting scream burst into the air. We thought that someone was severely injured or being attacked. We turned and saw a tall, blonde woman stopped at the end of the aisle, leaning on her cart and screaming for all she was worth. Nobody was around her and she didn't appear injured. Finally she stopped screaming and shouted out the "N" word at top volume.

My husband and I looked at each other, both of us completely confounded and embarrassed for this woman. A passing employee assured us in a hushed voice that this woman acted this way all of the time and she had some kind of disease. That's when I realized that she most likely had Tourette's Syndrome. As we continued our shopping we could hear her screams throughout the store. People around us mirrored the emotions we felt at our first exposure to her. I began to wonder what it must be like to live a public life when you have no control over your compulsions.

Most people have heard of Tourette's Syndrome and have a vague notion of its symptoms. It's usually associated with people uncontrollably shouting out obscenities and offending language. However that type of "tic" is fairly rare and people with TS are frequently misunderstood and ostracized. This syndrome is a neurological disorder that cannot be cured or controlled, although sometimes certain medications and therapies can help tone down certain symptoms.

Many people with Tourette's Syndrome experience physical tics and/or compulsions such as eye twitches, grimaces, and other body movements or twitches. Some experience verbal tics that can manifest in coughing, grunting, shouting, or barking. The range of tics travels from mild to severe; however more people experience the mild to moderate symptoms. The people who suffer from the variation of Tourette's that compels them to shout obscenities is very hard for people to understand. One misunderstanding is that they are shouting out their true beliefs or morals because they cannot hide them due to their disorder. However, the truth is they feel a compulsion to shout or yell the taboo or forbidden when it is in direct contrast to their own beliefs.

What must it be like for people with moderate to severe Tourette's to exist in public? I know that when I viewed that woman's behavior my thoughts and emotions ran through shock, confusion, embarrassment, outrage, and back to confusion. I also had the urge to laugh, not with cruel intentions but because that is generally how I react to strange behavior in public.

My husband told me about a man who sat in front of him on the plane recently. As soon as the plane left the runway he began to exhibit extremely strange behavior. He ran his hands through his hair, up and down his arms, over his chest and legs, over his face, and so on. This went on constantly throughout the flight and the man sitting beside him was leaning as far away as possible. Everyone in that section of the plane was disgusted thinking of all the DNA and germs that were probably spreading through the air as a result. Of course I have no way of knowing that this man had Tourette's Syndrome, although it certainly is a possibility. Whatever he has, he obviously had a compulsion he couldn't control or he would have.

While our initial human reaction to these kinds of behaviors ranges from disgust, dislike, confusion or anger, it's important to understand that people who have TS have no control over this behavior. If they are diagnosed then they most likely are under a physician's care and following his advice. However there is no cure or magic pill for this syndrome. Everyone at some point has had some kind of tic, whether it was an eye that wouldn't stop twitching, a muscle tic, or anything similar. You couldn't stop it, control it, or know when it was going to finally end. This is the way people with Tourette's Syndrome feel every day of their lives. When we don't understand something we tend to fear it or become hostile. Educating ourselves about the world and people around us can help us become more compassionate and perhaps understand ourselves better as well.