Purity Balls: Smart Thinking or Creepy Ceremony
What a Purity Ball is Really About
These Balls have several dozen fathers and daughters attending at the same time. There is alot of praying as well as dancing, giving of purity rings or chastity jewelry. There are many websites that cater to just purity jewelry on the internet. One such website was chastityjewelry.com. There I found they can buy rings for as low as $30.00 to well over $200.00.
Complete with white cake, girls dressed in long gowns and fathers sporting tuxedos, these ceremonies remind you of a wedding. This almost occult like phenomena is becoming a huge trend among the Christian Conservatives across the United States.
These Purity Balls are extremely elaborate ceremonies where girls as young as nine years old pledge to their father's that they will stay virgins until they marry. The father's pledge to protect their daughter's chastity and sign a covenant stating he will live an unblemished life, keeping his mind pure by doing such things as not using pornography and staying faithful to the girls mother.
According to Feministing.com the pledge the fathers make to their daughters is this:
I, [daughter's name]'s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come.
The father's then put purity rings or chastity bracelets on their daughters that the girls are supposed to give to their husbands on their wedding night. The daughters then lay down a while rose in front of a large cross as a symbol to live a pure lives before God.
Many critics and health professionals say these fathers and the Balls may be doing more harm than good. While teaching abstinence is a good thing, you also need to make these girls aware of sexually transmitted diseases. They point out that as many as 88% of girls who take these Purity Pledges go on to break them in as little as 4 years, often times engaging in dangerous unprotected sex with many partners.
Because these girls come from Highly religious families, they are likely to be shamed by their families if they are caught.
Is this a good idea then, or is it distasteful for a father to try and control his teen age daughters sex life. Does this mean the father owns the girls sexuality until she marries? The girls father will be the only man in her life until she is courted by a man and this Purity Ball is the only date she will be allowed tohave until she is courted. This seems like a lifestyle right out of biblical times.
Can a girl of nine really understand what the Ball and the pledge she makes to her father is really all about? Are these Balls teaching girls that they need to have a man protect them at all times? Will these girls have trouble making decisions for themselves later on in life as a result of this?
Are the girl's families setting them up for failure by making them attend a Purity Ball? In this day is it unrealistic to expect women to stay virgins until they marry?
In all the information I read for this article I didn't come across anything that stated why the entire family didn't attend the girls Purity Balls, the mother is nowhere to be found and I find that a little strange. Is this because in these familes it is the father that controls everything? Why are the daughters the only ones attending these Purity Balls. Where are the mother son Purity Balls?
Instead of telling little girls this is a wonderful thing and letting them play dress up and attend what looks like a incestual wedding. Women and girls should be given the tools and education to make informed decisions about their own sexual lives, so they know later on in life how to protect themselves. Forced abstinence isn't going to protect anyone from STD's or unwanted pregnancies. It's only a way of controlling women's sexual choices and showing them that they have no voice.
Published by Mary Kirkland
Mary is originally from Redondo Beach, California and now lives in Las Vegas, Nevada with her husband and daughter. Mary has had extensive experience with small animal care as well as rescuing and re-homing.... View profile
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- These Purity Balls look more like weddings than father daughter ceremonies.
83 Comments
Post a CommentPurity Balls exceed the boundaries of creepiness and dive head-first into horrifically inappropriate and borderline incestuous territory. The chauvanism and the glaring double standard of it all makes me want to vomit (if it's ok for fathers and daughters, why not mothes and sons??????) Because the centuries-old idea of "it's perfectly acceptable and encouraged for men to have sex at any age with whomever and as many women as possible" is still alive and well. Even religious institutions (don't even get me started on THAT one) tend to turn a blind eye to men and boys' sexual endeavors. Not so for women and girls, even with all the progress our gender has made. The world still belongs to the Neanderthals. #$%$
Thanks for sharing. This is the first that I have heard of this.
OK, the idea is basically good, but it sounds almost like a wedding of father and daughter. There's something creepy to me... and, as has already been pointed out... nothing similar for sons and mothers?
what these rings and this bizzare ceremony is telling kids is that their parents don't trust them. As far as I can see this is just another marketing gimmick to sell rings and cult type rituals. And on top of that, these bozos pledge to stay faithful to their wives. WTF??? I did that 25 years ago during my nuptuals. Why is that all of a sudden a big deal? IT'S WHAT'S EXPECTED OF YOU !!! Unbelievable!
promoting the idea of waiting until marriage is a good one, but now days it seems marriage doesn't mean a whole lot. If society would just get back to old fashioned values, things would maybe improve and this sort of thing wouldn't be needed.
(cont) a special occasion. I do think, however, that both genders should be involved - not just the fathers and daughters. I personally would rather have a private ceremony with just my parents, but some people would rather have a ceremony with a lot of people there. I do not think that the other people who have been commenting should be saying that the people who go to purity balls will never keep the vow. There is no way for you to know if a person will or will not keep that commitment until later on in life. But it's up to them to keep it. Not you to make claims like that. Thanks :)
Some of this I agree with and some of it I do not. I do not think that 9 year olds should be participating in these kinds of ceremonies. It is possible that they truly know what they're committing to, but most likely they don't. I also do not think that parents (mothers OR fathers) should pressure their children into getting a purity ring. I think that parents should encourage their children to stay pure and guide them - not force them, guilt them, or pressure them into getting purity rings. I think that is the son/daughter's decision. If the son or daughter wants a purity ring, that's perfectly fine, but I don't believe that it should be a forced thing. I am a 14 year old girl and I suggested me getting a purity ring to my parents. Not the other way around. My older brother also brought it up to my parents. We're not being forced to wear purity rings. We want to. As for the "Purity Balls", I think that it is just a way of making the purity rings a spe
I don't care for this idea. God does want us to remain pure, but he also understands that we're only human. Having a healthy relationship with her fther will do more to keep a young lady pure than all the fancy ceremonies in the world.
Hmm, I think sexual attitudes are established by the family early on, it's nice for the reinforcement I suppose but unless started early I can't think they'd make a difference:)
I am a youth minister and this weekend we are holding a purity ring ceremony during the worship service where the parents (both genders) will present a purity ring to their kids. The idea of giving a purity ring and making a commitment to sexual purity before God is wonderful. You say that it may be unrealistic but I disagree. That is a convenient excuse not to try. I have never heard of Purity Balls until now and it does seem odd. I also agree that a nine-year old may be too young to understand her commitment however, I was 10 when I made my commitment of my own accord without adult prompting and I'm still holding true to it.