Put Your Pounds Where You Can See Them

Pardon the random series of thoughts; in my mind they all connect and will (hopefully) make sense to you! I am a CSI: Miami addict. I'm proud of it, I'm making no effort to change it, and it's my reward for a day filled with activity. I am also a food addict. I try to hide, I am changing it, and although I used to reward myself with food, the long term effects of that reward were actually a punishment. I think fun houses are actually really freaky. I HATE the room with the distorted mirrors. In my house, there are no full lenght mirrors. Well, there's one, but it's propped against the wall behind my daughter's dresser so the kids don't break it and I can't see it. There are certain weeks that I love brownies, and have to fight myself to stay away from the cabinet where the mix is kept. I consider a day with no chocolate that week a supreme victory. Why don't I just get rid of the mix?

These are all thoughts I've had this morning as I enjoyed being awake and by myself in my home. I was thinking about something my supportive husband asked me: How do you want to celebrate having lost a pant size? Where do you want to go out to eat? Well, first, let's not reward with food. I got a new tattoo (not HIS first choice for a reward, but I'm pleased!). That was for going from a 20 to an 18. For my size 16 reward, I get to wear the clothes that have been waiting for me since before I got pregnant with my daugther nearly 5 years ago. For reaching a 14, my husband has a purse on our dresser that I had been eyeing; now it's in our home and waiting for me. I was a 14 my freshman year of college and that was 10 years ago; it's going to be GREAT! For size 12, I don't know yet, but I think it involves a belly ring, and maybe a new haircut. Size 10 will involve some major shopping because an 8/10 is my goal. But I seriously had to plan all this out and focus on each step.

Addictions are life controlling problems. I don't cosider CSI: Miami a problem, but it definitely impacts my Monday night schedule. I mean, who doesn't stop life to watch Horatio, Callie & Eric solve crime? My food addiction: that is a problem. It's created problem thighs, a problem butt, problem boobs and even problem arms (oh my gosh! can you say flabby tricpeps?!?!). Oh, and that second chin that has been shrinking over the last month and a half! The problem is that there is so much of them!!! It can be overwhelming!!! And it has controlled my life. My weight has robbed me of energy, of playing with my kids, of being sexy and confident with my husband, of feeling proud of the way I look and feel.

The mirror thing? I talked about my broken mirror in another article. We all know mirrors in dressing rooms are imported from hell. For that matter, all scales are patented by Lucifer. And God knows calories were the brainchild of Beelzebub. But, hey, they are all a part of life and must be dealt with. If someone called me fat, ugly, frumpy or worn out I'd kick their *&!. So when I looked in the mirror -the hidden, usually ignored full length mirror- and called myself those things, I decided to kick my own rear. I'm kicking it right OUT of my body! The fat is on its way out!!

Closure to my random thoughts for today? Sure. Are you ready???

LOSING WEIGHT = GAINING LIFE

I am convinced that weight loss is a 50/50 battle. It starts in the mind. The first half of the victory is honestly identifying the problem (I'm fat), recognizing the symptoms (comfort eating, eating disorder symptoms, specific food addictions and behaviors, etc), and making a commitment to stop, process the facts and change the reality. The second half is instituting that specifically detailed commitment through an eating plan, exercise routine, and lifestyle makeover. For me, that has involved putting my pounds where I can see them. The mirror came out from behind the dresser today. I'm toying with the idea of putting it on the pantry door, but for now, it's right in the hallway where I walk by it all day long. I put my pounds where I can see them so that I can wave bye-bye. We've all joked that some people bring joy to a room when they enter, others when they leave it. Well, I'm enjoying the pounds leaving and I want a front row seat to watch it happen!

I am loving the fact that my new job is getting paid to lose weight and motivate others to do it! Sometimes being a fitness coach is the accountability I need ... last night when we had dinner at Chili's, I wanted their white chocolate molten cake so badly. And then my server mentioned he recognized me from the gym and the conversation lead to how I was doing and what I did for work ... now how can a fitness coach, who just shared how she was 10% into her goal of losing a hundred pounds, order that? Put your pounds where YOU can see them ... and your goals where YOU AND OTHERS can see them!